Evil Angel's blog: "FUNNY SHIT!"

Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for your wife or girlfriend by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner,shows and any other baubles that women find romantic. Secretly...guys feel left out. That's right...left out. There's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or just too embarrassed to admit it. This is why a new holiday has been created. March 20th is now officially 'Steak, Blow job & Shut the Fuck Up Day.' Simple, effective and self-explanatory...this holiday has been created so your ladies can have a day to show your man just how much you love him. No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town the name of the holiday explains it all...just a steak, a BJ & shut your mouth for the rest of the day! That's it! This twin pairing of Valentine's Day and Steak, Blow job & Shut the Fuck Up Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere will try THAT much harder in February to ensure a more memorable March! It's like a perpetual love machine. The word is already spreading, but as with any new idea, it needs a little push to start the ball rolling. So spread the word, and help bring love and peace to this crazy world.

A crusty old biker, with bugs in his teeth, on a summer ride in the country, walks into a tavern and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $40.00 Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender serving drinks to a meager looking group of farmers. 'Yes?' she inquires with a knowing smile, 'can I help you? 'I was wondering,' whispers the old biker, 'are you the young lady who gives the hand-jobs?' 'Yes,' she purrs, 'I am.' The old biker replies, 'Well wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger.

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is that you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven." Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?" Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me...." God commented: "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?" Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?" God said, "Ah, yes." "Well ," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention: 1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion 2. It chatters constantly at high speeds 3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble too much 4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust 5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!! "Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on." God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it. "Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."

Dear Abby, I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs...phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently, although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them." I sometimes stay awake to look out for her cab coming home, but she always comes walking up the drive as I hear the sound of a car leaving, around the corner, as if she has gotten out and walked the rest of the way. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi at all? I once picked up her cell phone, just to see what time it was. This caused her to go completely berserk. She quickly snatched the phone out of my hand and cursed me hysterically, screaming that I should never touch her personal property, then accused me of trying to spy on her. Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson Lowrider next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the street around the corner when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my motorcycle that I noticed a small amount of motor oil leaking through the gasket between the rear head and rocker arm cover. So...is this something I can easily repair myself or do you think I should take it back to the dealer?