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Vanashe DJ's blog: "Life"

created on 03/18/2009  |  http://fubar.com/life/b286022

Fucking hate my doctor

So, for those of you who are unaware, I've been suffering from chronic headaches for the roughly the past year and a half, but in the past 6 months they've been truly horrible, and they're only getting worse. Naturally, I did what most men would do when faced with such a serious medical problem. I ignored it and hoped it would go away. But eventually I realized I had no choice in the matter and requisitioned a pair of testicles and called up Austin Regional clinic and made an appointment.

Not being one who goes to the doctor often and having only lived here for 6 months, I didn't have a regular primary care physician, nor did I request any specific physician by name when I made my appointment, so I got saddled with whichever one had an opening that morning. Needless to say, I was not pleased with the results.

Let me start out by saying that I waited in the exam room for twenty minutes, then the doctor walked in and was done with me in five. She asked me a few questions about my headaches, such as how often I get them and what other symptoms I'm experiencing, so I told her everything. See, the problem is that there are many different possible causes of extreme headaches from sinus pressure to blood pressure to poor eyesight to any number of psychological conditions such as depression, and I unfortunately fit the bill for most of them. I suffer from horrible allergies (those of you following along at home can mark a check next to sinus pressure), I have a lazy eye and haven't seen an eye doctor for the better part of ten years (check poor vision), and I've had psychological problems before including depression (check psych). I've also had a gastric bypass which severely screws with my body chemistry and causes fluctuations in my blood sugar levels. So I told all this to the pretty young pregnant doctor and her response was to recommend that I set up appointments with an opthamalogist, a nutritionist, and a psychologist, and meanwhile she was going to write me a script for some migraine medication for me to try out. Now, it seemed like she was covering all her bases here, but I was a little skeptical of the fact that she didn't draw any blood or even ask for a urine sample. No tests at all, just try out some "migraine medication" (which she didn't mention the name of) and tell me to go see a bunch of other doctors.

Nevertheless, later that day I went down to my local CVS to pick up my "migraine medication" and came to a very nasty surprise. My "migraine medication" was nothing more than CVS brand over-the-counter tylenol. Literally, all they did was grabbed a package off of one of their shelves and poured it into a perscription bottle. Did my doctor think I wouldn't notice? Did she miss the part where I told her that I was already taking more than the daily limit for over-the-counter medication? At this point it suddenly became very clear to me why she hadn't ordered any tests, why I was out of there so quickly, and why she was just telling me to go see other doctors and come back for a follow up in two weeks.

Let's review, shall we? I walk into her office as a new patient, someone she's never met before, and I give her a laundry list of symptoms, and I'm asking for pain relievers. There's only two logical explanations at this point. Either she thinks I'm a hypochondriac or I'm a drug addict trying to score some vicodin, darvocet, or maybe some other narcotic. Honestly, I'm not sure which is worse, or more insulting.

I'll not smear her name all over the internet, however. I'm sure it was an honest mistake. All the same, I'm getting my self a second fucking opinion.

kthxbai,

Vanashe the Peeved

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