Over 16,508,925 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?

Rev's blog: "WTF?"

created on 02/07/2007  |  http://fubar.com/wtf/b53026

FUCK IKEA

So, I survived a trip to IKEA this evening, despite the fact that they had a SALE on. We've done some decorationg so, being a woman, my wife felt the urge to purchase new lightshades and accessories, etc. I fucking hate IKEA.

 

IF YOU'RE GOING TO IKEA...

...and you have a baby - leave the fucking thing at home or in your car. Not everyone appreciates the incesent mewling and crying that is coming from your brat.

...and you're old and infirm - stay in your fucking house. You've lived a long life, you deserve a break. Employ someone else to go for you. Someone who can walk faster than a snail, someone who doesn't meander all over the fucking place with no regards to who is behind them. Someone who can read the labels without having to hold the shit 2 inches from their face. And for fuck sake, make sure that someone has their teeth in.

...and you have young children - put them on a fucking leash. It's a fucking shop, not a big fucking play park. Oh, and if your 'free to roam' offspring happens to run into me and I say "watch where you're fucking going", don't give me dirty looks or tut-tut me for swearing at your children. CONTROL your fucking children and that kind of shit won't happen in the first place

...and you are a huge big fucking fat person - now, being a fat bastard myself, this isn't an attack on the overweight. It's an attack on people so fucking big, that the only other time you'll see a mammal that large is at the fucking zoo, on safari or on Animal Planet channel. If your arse is wider than the fucking aisle, should you really be stuffing 4 IKEA hotdogs into your fucking face? And, I don't mind you being that big, but when I say "excuse me, please" so I can get around your fat arse, I mean MOVE your fat fucking arse so that I can get by. I don't mean turn fucking sideways, because I can't get past your fucking gut anymore than I can get past your fucking arse.

...and you see me walking in the opposite direction of the arrows on the ground, DON'T fucking tell me I'm going the wrong way. Fuck you, how do you know where I'm going you stalking cunt? It's not the road system. If I want to walk against the flow of the fucking arrows then I'll walk against the flow of the fucking arrows and you'll fucking like it.

Finally - to the old coffin-dodging cunt who was wearing beige shorts, beige shirt, grey socks and black sports sandals - LOOK IN THE DIRECTION THAT YOU'RE PUSHING YOUR CART, not at some young woman's arse. I really didn't appreciate your cart-load of flat packed furniture smacking into the back of my knees. And, your "I'm sorry" didn't cut it, you old cunt, not when you are wearing socks and fucking sandals.

Finally finally - to the ugly goth lookin chick with the RED hair, driving a yellow Mini - those black and white lines on the ground mean PEDESTRIAN CROSSING. You're supposed to fucking STOP and let people walk across the street. So giving me dirty looks because I just marched on out there, and caused you to carry out an emergency stop procedure won't fucking help you. Reading the Highway Code, that's what will fucking help you.

 

Leave a comment!
html comments NOT enabled!
NOTE: If you post content that is offensive, adult, or NSFW (Not Safe For Work), your account will be deleted.[?]

giphy icon
last post
9 years ago
posts
86
views
35,599
can view
everyone
can comment
friends
atom/rss

recent posts

9 years ago
Not Dead.
12 years ago
I'm a model...
13 years ago
To Serve & Protect
13 years ago
Sorry for your loss
13 years ago
HOARS!
13 years ago
Donkey Schon!
13 years ago
Happy Hoar update!

other blogs by this author

 16 years ago
Wankers!
 16 years ago
Rev Says...
 17 years ago
Robert Burns
blogroll (list of blogs that the blogger recommends)
7 years ago 
blah blah blah by misfit  
official fubar blogs
 8 years ago
fubar news by babyjesus  
 13 years ago
fubar.com ideas! by babyjesus  
 10 years ago
fubar'd Official Wishli... by SCRAPPER  
 10 years ago
Word of Esix by esixfiddy  

discover blogs on fubar

blog.php' rendered in 0.0653 seconds on machine '190'.