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Fah Que's blog: "Fu Rants "

created on 01/05/2011  |  http://fubar.com/fu-rants/b338671

Lmfao

14 Things The Average Woman Thinks While Giving a Blowjob October 21, 2013 at 5:32PM by Anna Breslaw 32167 247 84 0241 Comments 1. Okay, Penis. Let's do this. Let's go. I'm ready to Win at This Blowjob. 2. I’m kind of grossed out by the noises my own mouth is making but YOLO. 3. It’s fine that you want to pull the hair out of my face in order to watch me do this but — OW — my hair is caught on your watch — OW. OW. FUCK. 4. So like, can we have sex yet, or... oh, okay, we're just doing this until the end. Cool. Good to know. 5. Am I supposed to be doing some kind of testicle magic? Can I just like, touch one for a sec? Does that count as magic? 6. There, I touched it. #thugsnapz to me. 7. It feels like it’s been 40 minutes but in blowjob time that’s realistically probably like seven minutes. If I can just turn my head to see what time— ow ow ow my neck ow owww. 8. Oh shit, I have to DVR Pretty Little Liars. 9. Maybe I can be one of those people with no gag reflex! 10. No. No, I cannot. 11. There is so much spit happening. There's going to be an awkward wet spot on the bed. 12. It won’t be that bad. I’ve done it so many times. Just tastes like a mix of pennies and nothing! No big deal! 13. Haha, why is there so much of it? There are so many false endings to this ejaculation, it's like a Judd Apatow movie. Like, how is it still coming out? 14. BECAUSE I WIN AT BLOWJOBS, MUHFUCKER. That's how. Follow Anna on Twitter. Image via Thinkstockphoto

Lol

14 Things The Average Woman Thinks While Giving a Blowjob October 21, 2013 at 5:32PM by Anna Breslaw 32167 247 84 0241 Comments 1. Okay, Penis. Let's do this. Let's go. I'm ready to Win at This Blowjob. 2. I’m kind of grossed out by the noises my own mouth is making but YOLO. 3. It’s fine that you want to pull the hair out of my face in order to watch me do this but — OW — my hair is caught on your watch — OW. OW. FUCK. 4. So like, can we have sex yet, or... oh, okay, we're just doing this until the end. Cool. Good to know. 5. Am I supposed to be doing some kind of testicle magic? Can I just like, touch one for a sec? Does that count as magic? 6. There, I touched it. #thugsnapz to me. 7. It feels like it’s been 40 minutes but in blowjob time that’s realistically probably like seven minutes. If I can just turn my head to see what time— ow ow ow my neck ow owww. 8. Oh shit, I have to DVR Pretty Little Liars. 9. Maybe I can be one of those people with no gag reflex! 10. No. No, I cannot. 11. There is so much spit happening. There's going to be an awkward wet spot on the bed. 12. It won’t be that bad. I’ve done it so many times. Just tastes like a mix of pennies and nothing! No big deal! 13. Haha, why is there so much of it? There are so many false endings to this ejaculation, it's like a Judd Apatow movie. Like, how is it still coming out? 14. BECAUSE I WIN AT BLOWJOBS, MUHFUCKER. That's how. Follow Anna on Twitter. Image via Thinkstockphoto

11things

11 Things Guys Think About Your Boobs December 17, 2013 at 3:21PM by Frank Kobola 3608 29 37 075 Comments Scientists may never figure out why men love boobs so much. Chalk it up to evolution neurologically programming us. Or how, although all men realize they shouldn’t look at breasts, it's just hard not to. Because yes, we're just that basic. Here are the thoughts that go through men’s minds (or at least, my mind) when faced with breasts. 1. Oh, dammit, she’s wearing a low-cut top. OK, you can do this. You are a warrior. 2. Maintain eye-contact. 3. BOOBS! No, you idiot! You weren’t supposed to look. 4. Calm down. Get it together, brain. She didn’t notice your drifting gaze. 5. You’re paying attention to this conversation like a champ. Wait, what did her boobs look like again? NO! I AM NOT FALLING FOR THAT, MALE BRAIN! I am going to be polite. I’m going to be a gentleman. 6. Shit, she noticed that time. There is absolutely no reason to look down again. 7. BOOBS! I don’t even know what I’m thinking anymore. 8. *wordless conceptualization of breasts* 9. Oh, no. How long was I staring for? Seconds? Hours? I’ve lost all concept of time. She looks so angry. 10. She just asked me what time it is. Easy. “It's 1:30.” Nailed it. 11. Yes, and now I’m going to say something to indicate that I have absorbed all the information you’ve communicated to me and never once thought about looking at anything but your face. I was delighted to meet you as well.

Lmfao

Things that go one with too much sugar in ones system...... Crystal Goddess...: Flopsy Mopsy Twat , how are thee? With yer floppy mudflaps in dire need of lubrication. delete Crystal Goddess...: No the image was rather horrid.. a dried up flappy cunt screamin LuBE ME LuBE me delete SinfullyInkedDo...: Why would I need ky must be some dry hoars then if it needs lube delete Haha...more to come

Xx Maja xX Triv...: IF YOU EVER THINK YOU HAVE BEEN POSSESSED BY VETIS: # Do NOT, no matter what, give into his offerings or demands, no matter how tempting they may be. Most attempts to rid yourself of Vetis results in damage or possibly even death. # IF YOU WANT TO REMOVE VETIS FROM YOUR BODY YOU MUST NOT SPEAK WITH HIM. Continous speaking and bonding with Vetis will cause you to fall deeper into his grip. He tries everything he can to tempt you to the point of either suicide or homicide 

tXx Maja xX Triv...: (Killing yourself or others). Sometimes, if you are too deeply involved with Vetis, you cannot escape him. Those he has killed (There are no Official records of him killing anybody, except my and others word) are usually covered in splinters or bruises. Sometimes burns or removal of the tongue are present, depending on how much he hates you, or how much he hates to hear you talk.

Xx Maja xX Triv...: # DO NOT ATTEMPT TO PURPOSELY CONTACT VETIS. Unless of course, you are very powerful in magick or other anti-demon techniques or spells. If you are contacted by him first, do not speak with him, ignore him as long as you can. Eventually, he may just go away, or get mad where he leaves himself weak and frustrated. At this time he is most easily removed

.Xx Maja xX Triv...: VETIS AND HIS FORMS: Vetis usually takes forms of large demonic figures, usually somehow associated with trees or wood (sometimes even dirt or other plants) and a sensation with dead bodies or heads. Occasionally he has multiple arms or legs, like a spider. Victims of Vetis's wrath usually have splinters and bruises around there body. He also has connections of Medieval times or the past, and rarely shows visions of himself in modern evironments

.Xx Maja xX Triv...: To some people, rhyming is soothing and fun, and may cause them to feel different about him and give in to his demands. YOU SHOULD NOT AT ANY TIME LISTEN TO HIM. Simply hearing him out could sway you to giving and and bring you under his control. He also attempts to try different approuches to get your attention. He usually begins acting very evil and cruel, showing images of violence or death. He later tries to talk calmly with you, rhyming away. He later argues and yells, and then attempts

tXx Maja xX Triv...: and then attempts to reassure and sometimes even (yes, he actually holds his words) grants small bits of power making them full of energy and upbeat. At that point, he tries to convince you to let him give you all his powers, in which he would take over your body and control it, leading you to suicide or homicide. By this point, there is nearly no way to return to a world without him.

d3c0m Xx TM xXyou two are tighter than a crabs ass js

him on me and my sister rofl

 

R y a nhe probably role plays with it and talks to his penis "i am your father"   delete



 

Ryan x Mr Bree ...nutter butters were invented when i put peanut butter on my balls and ball stamped tks forehead   delete

 

Ryan x Mr Bree ...my bed got so much jizz on it, it looks like i pissed the bed, my mom trying to install one of those anti bed wetting devices   delete
Ryan x Mr Bree ...id rther hump the bed then the floor, it has more padding   delete
Ryan x Mr Bree ...id have to say these panties are way more comfortable then the other pair i had on but the other pair makes my ass look better, such a debate UGH!   delete
Crystal Goddess...Jack Frost needs jacked off or some shit, he's a disgruntled little man that can't get a good nut and keeps spewing on the east coast. SHOOT the fucker!

 

 

Xx Maja xX Triv...I BOUGHT A GOAT !! i BOUGHT A GOAT!!! i BOUGHT A GOAT MFKRS!!! FREE MILK FOR LIFE MFKRS!!!

 

Crystal Goddess...: I'll remember that Joey and fire.. I'll find the nastiest whore around and make sure she has a blue waffle.
 
Smoke xXShells ...: my dick is hard,my balls are smokin,i want sum of garys ass,and i aint even jokin

 

Dj RydeR: LOL, that's your thing babe, you're the true Inked Goddess 


NJNiceGuy: 7 principles = 1. always agree with her... 2. never bitch about her cooking... 3. give her your paycheck... 4. always answer with "yes dear"... 5. always she she looks good in whaatever she has on... 6. never go against her opinion.... 7. always remember you are ALWAYS WRONG.......
Crystal Goddess...Dude Im not walking into into that has wings and looks like it has a batcave. I'll pass on man eating vaginas. 

 

 

random quote in destiny lol

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