im starting to get a little frustrated because i cant get my computer at home working right n i want to get internet hooked up. its getting old just working doing nothing that seems worth while. life has been getting old for a long time. seems i work eat and sleep that's it. it's so meaningless and pointless. i don't have anyone to hang out with anyone to hold. i just stand behind a counter working at a gas station 8 hrs a day 6 days a week for shit pay working my ass off. *sigh* i thought getting my own place n such would change things, but seems nothing changes, donno if it ever will. maybe ill have to post pone recording my cd or something but i wanted to record it a long time ago, ive put getting it done off for a long time already.
maybe i ought to just save every penny i can and just go drive and i donno. get away, heh i moved here to get away, away from what? i dont know, but i still haven't gotten away. all i feel is nothingness most the time it's frustrating, if i feel anything it seems pointless because it will never ammount to anything. i could dream of ravyn every night cry over her every day think of her every second it wouldn't change anything. same goes for anyone else my mind would ever happen to think about. is this what wasting away feels like? you don't even really feel it, i always thought it was feeling agony every second and feeling bleh and lonely and crappy, but now it is truly just nothingness. stuck right in a middle somewhere of meaninglessness. atleast when you feel great pain you feel some meaning, you feel you have a reason to suffer a reason to be or a reason to die. instead of feeling a reason for nothing. :/
