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When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with
their tedious diatribes about how hard things were
when they were growing up; what with walking
twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill
BOTH ways .. yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself
that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going
to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how
hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm pushing the ripe old age of 40, I can't help but look around
and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy!
I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know
how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet.
If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the
 library and look it up ourselves, in the card
catalog!

There was no email! ! We had to actually write somebody
a letter ... with a pen! Then you had to walk all the
way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it
would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or iTunes! You wanted to steal music, you had
to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the
DJ would usually talk over the beginning and fuck it all up!

And talk of about hardship? You couldn't just download porn! You had
to steal it from your brother or bribe some homeless dude to buy you a
copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! Those were your options!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the
phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either. When
the phone rang, you had no idea who it was. It could
be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your
drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't
know! You had to pick it up and take your chances.

We didn't have any fancy X-Box 360 video games
with HD 3-D graphics. We had the
Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and
"asteroids" and the graphics sucked ass! Your guy was
a little square! You actually had to use your
imagination! And there were no multiple
levels or screens, it was just one screen forever.
And you could never win. The game just kept getting
harder and harder and faster and faster until you
died. Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing
as stadium seating! All the seats were the same
height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat
sat in front of you and you couldn't see,
you were just screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was
only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu
and no remote control. You had to use a little book
called a TV Guide to find out what was on!

And there was no Cartoon Network
either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday
Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying?! We had to
wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little
rat-bastards!


That's exactly what I'm talking about. You kids
today have got it too easy. You're spoiled.

You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in
the 80's.


Regards,
The over 35 Crowd

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