March 15,1990 and I am sitting with my wife in the delivery room at Mount Carmel Hospital in Detroit waiting for the Child to pop out. That’s the beginning of getting to know the kid that’s about to impact life. After a few hours of labor the fetus monitor started to show a problem every time the wife had a contraction. After seeing that a couple of times I called the doctor into the room and wanted him to say all was fine but was told the baby was not taking the contractions well and was going to have to be taken by C section. As they rolled the wife into the ER they made me stay out. I waited for a while and out came a nurse that said if I wanted I could cut the cord but to be prepared for the blood and all from the surgery.
I walked in to find a nurse holding a tiny bundle and handed a pair of surgical scissors, I asked if they would let me use my Buck Knife and that it was clean, got a resounding No!
So I took the scissors and cut the cord as they let me see the face for the first time of the Boy Child.
This is the first time I met the Boy.. Charles Jonathan Mays born healthy with a hell of a set of lungs. The wife was a bit groggy but had a smile and was captivated as I laid him in her arms.
I won’t go into all the details leading up to today but over the years I got to know the Boy Child and made every effort to let him know me. From the time he was born I spent hours showing him photos of planets, dinosaurs, stars, and all things of science and explained each to him as I think the first year of life sets the template for the brain. Each new visual, each new word and experience creates synoptic connections that later in life can improve the I. Q. , When he was 4 years old he could name all nine planets in order and describe the structure of each one. He knew most the main dinosaur types and showed signs of brilliance each time we spoke. At 5 years old having a conversation with him was like talking to an adult who had language skills that many high school age kids could not compete with.
Shortly after the first year the wife and I had some issues and we were divorced. Lots of reasons but mainly because my work kept me away from home for long periods but needless to say I was devastated.
Over the next many years I saw the Boy Child every chance I could and tried to instill the concept of Honor from an early age. I was impressed when he turned 10 and wanted to join the Navy Cadets. Being Ex-Army I was of course proud to see him actually want to join a Cadet corp. I don’t know how much influence I had but was already proud of the way he had grown to question all he sees and have a unquenchable thirst to learn.
I saw a child grow to a Young Man before my eyes. With each new rank, with each new service ribbon, with each new medal he received I called every member of the family to tell them of his latest adventure. He would call from some far off place where he was in training and tell me how he was on this ship or that, he would tell me of his ribbons and training and I could hear in his voice the excitement at each accomplishment. All his life I have tried to tell him the simple concept of Honor, “Doing the Right Thing when No One is Looking”, and he displayed that he got it every time I heard of his adventures.
When I got word that he was put up for a Distinguished Service Cross from the Navy for saving the life of a fellow cadet I felt my chest bulge with pride. When he was selected to act as Honor Guard for the V.P., I was beaming with pride. Over and over the Boy Child did deeds that impressed the family and me.
For 8 years he competed in cadet training on ships and shore at bases across the U.S. and then when I was told he had made Petty Officer First Class and put in command of his cadet unit I was thrilled. Then was told that he had also made the Honor Roll at high school on top of his Navy Cadet training and I was maybe the proudest father in the world.
This writing is not about all of that………
This writing is about being told today that C.J. Mays had just enlisted in the U.S. Army. He has spent the last year trying to find his direction and told me he knew he was going to enlist but wanted to find what branch he wanted to serve in. He had been t every recruiter and had all of them competing for him. His record impressed each one and has had them all making him offers. He was offered 20 grand and a contract for Army Special Forces, The Navy offered him a E-3 starting rank and 30 grand, The Marines offered a guaranteed position in the SEAL’s training slot and 10 grand and the Air Force offered 20 grand and a contract for the Air Force special Op’s division .
Charley called and explained his decision and I am more impressed with this Young Man than ever before. After he graduated from High School a few months back he was offered a job on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico where he would go out for 6 weeks and back for 3 weeks and get paid 2 grand a month to start. He called to tell me of the job offer and was excited at the idea. The adventure and money was very enticing to a 18 year old fresh out of High School and would have been a great first job for any boy.
But I got the call today and he explained that he had spent the last week not sleeping and thinking about what he was going to do. He told be that for the past 5 years he had been telling all his friends that when they get out of high school they should consider service to their country. He said he decided that he could not live with himself if after all these years he took a job like that. So he enlisted in the Army.
He is to be inducted next week and will go to Fort Benning Georgia and is starting basic as an E-3 with a contracted position in a LRRP unit if he completes all the training. His goal is to become a Special Op’s solder trying for the SEALS as his ultimate goal.
He is learning Farsi and Arabic on his own time and hoping he can finish training and be deployed on the next cycle with a forward unit.
I have also heard from his mother , loudly, about how she was worried about him getting killed at the rate he was going and I fully understand her fear as I have them also. But as I told Charley its his life and he has to do what he thinks if the right thing for him. I told him of what War was like. I told him of the hardships and the danger, I told him that its dirty, nasty and ugly. I spoke to him of seeing friends being torn apart and the horror of war. I also told him that to serve your country is one of the most Honorable endeavors anyone can do. While I would support his decisions to do anything he wants in life I would rather him do what ever he wants to become the man I know he will be. Yes he could get hurt or killed in combat but its what he’s worked for most of his life.
So I told him that at 18 he has done more that most old men in life and that he had nothing to prove to me or anyone. And what made me want to write of this young man was what he said to me in return. He told me he knew he didn’t have to prove anything to anyone except himself and the only thing he had to prove to himself is that he had Honor and “Would Do the Right Thing when No One was Watching” and that it was his time to step up and serve the country that his father had left blood on the field for.
I can say that not much causes the eyes to water in this old war dog these days but that made my chest heave and my heart pump as tears filled my eyes. After all these years I have seen a Boy Child grow to what defines a Man. Honor
Paul R. Mays
