Xx Lost xX's blog: "Friendships"

So, it is possible to be “JUST” friends with people of opposite gender and it depend on your maturity, mindset and your need at that particular time. We can talk about our thoughts; our feelings but you cannot say the same thing about the person of opposite gender. You never know what your friend is talking about you in his or her group of friends. As far as my personal experiences goes…I have lot many “Female Friends” from different cities, different countries, from different age groups, married-unmarried-singles and now gender hardly matters to me. We discuss about our experiences, go out for dinner, movie, and picnic and also give comforts…if there are any issues at professional and personal fronts. But, as I said earlier…I can say how I feel, what I think…I cannot say with any surety as what they feel and think. If the sexual element in a relationship is lost, no friendship is left and the couple moves away from each other in every respect. Instead of seeing sexual relationships as friendships, which include sex, couples often see them as separate from any kind of friendship. If people could break away from this tradition they could be friends with their lovers and ex-lovers and enjoy close, happy and meaningful relationships. This would also reflect a certain amount of growth and maturity of the personality. My Gift to all my friends for their Friendship I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out. I love you for putting your hand into my heaped-up heart, and passing over all the foolish and frivolous and weak things which you cannot help dimly seeing there, and for drawing out into the light all the beautiful, radiant belongings, that no one else had looked quite far enough to find. I love you for ignoring the possibilities of the fool and weakling in me, and for laying firm hold on the possibilities of good in me. I love you for closing your eyes to the discords in me, and for adding to the music in me by worshipful listening. I love you because you are helping me to make of the lumber of my life not a tavern but a Temple, and of the words of my every day not a reproach but a song. I love you because you have done more than any creed could have done to make me good, and more than any fate could have done to make me happy. You have done it just by being yourself. Perhaps that is what being a friend means after all Saying so, I never mean to say that, I will be giving you solutions for all your problems As a friend, I may not be able to give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears; but I can listen to you, and together we can seek answers. I can't change your past with all its heartache and pain, nor the future with it's untold stories; but I can be there now when you need me to care. I can't keep your feet from stumbling. I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall. Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine; yet I can share in your laughter and joy. Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge; I can only support you, encourage you, and help you when you ask. I can't give you boundaries, which I have determined for you, But I can give you the room to change, room to grow, room to be yourself. I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting, but I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces and put them back in place. I can't tell you who you are. I can only love you and be your friend. And every morning when you open your eyes, tell yourself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every second is a gift from God, you've got to dance like nobody's watching, and love like it's never going to hurt. People say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends don't need to hold hands because they know the other hand will always be there. Conclusion “Friendship is the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring all right out just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful friendly hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping and, with a breath of comfort, blow the rest away.” Not only in Friendship but also in all the relations love is the driving force that creates and sustains it. The kind of love friends have for each other is the desire to know, serve and share. It is the antithesis of lust - the desire to acquire, possess and control. It is what makes one want to connect with another human consciousness - intellectually, emotionally and physically. Unspoken doubts and suspicions are barriers that limit the possible depth to which a friendship can progress. Love empowers friends to say how they feel about each other without inhibition or fear of hurting each other's feelings. It thereby allows them to resolve their doubts and suspicions about each other, thus removing the barriers and opening the way to an ever-deeper friendship. Because friends love each other, one never attempts to force, coerce or control the other to change for the better. One friend only informs the other of the way he or she feels. Love will motivate the informed friend to change him or herself for the better. Because friends love each other, they will never use each other as a means to an end - as a human resource to be used and abused for self gain. A friend - as a precious sentient consciousness - is an end in him or herself. That end is the joy of sharing experiences and reciprocal love.

Why is it so hard to believe that male and females can be best friends? Is it culture, something we were raised with, or just plain ignorance/stupidty? I have no issues with it and truly believe it can happen. That is obvious because my best friend is a male. So I did some research just to make sure I wasn't the weird one here and this is what I found. Please share your feelings on this topic with me cause I am just torn on this whole topic. Below is what a researcher had to say on the topic. "To every action there is equal and opposite reaction"and we find this being followed in daily life today. A gal today wants to know that if her male member of the family can have a female friend why cant she have a male friend? Logically, she is correct. If you want her to follow you don't do any indecent thing so that one can hold his head high while preaching others. The root cause of this is our sick minded mentality which views the women as an object of sex only. We tend to forget the love, warmth, affection, care, glamor, decency, patience, kindness, gerosity etc she brings with her. On the other hand, men are capable of contributing by way of adventurism, enthusiasm, calmness, and ability to handle all odd situations, giving the feeling of protectiveness to women etc. Don't we feel if we sum up all these qualities we can have a complete human being who would be an asset to any society at any time? Male female friendship goes beyond the physical attractions. I feel its an individuals perception of viewing a situation. A half glass of water is half empty for some and half full for others. In other words its the way of looking up to situations from different angles. I have known some people who during the course of their work struck decent, meaningful, satisfying mutually beneficial friendship with the members of opposite sex. They love, adore and cherish it . How can such a friendship be put to acid test and tell me one person on earth who would not like to cultivate this kind of friendship? I think the evil minds need some repairs by jolting with heavy hammers in the head. I hope they don't die during this activity. A male getting attracted to a female and vice versa is nothing new. Its a natural phenomenon.The laws of magnetism have clearly spelled them." Like poles repel each other and unlike poles attract each other". Moreover, look how anxious one is while waiting for a friend of opposite sex over a cup of coffee and some delicious meal. I don't think the coffee or the meal contribute much to their happiness than just the feeling of togetherness. They tend to put on the best of behaviors, the best of dresses to impress each other. The tensions of this modern world are released through this outlet and discussions are mostly constructive. All things are done decently because thats the basic requirement.