Kiss My Asp's blog: "Ode Dear - collection of silly poems"

Snappy title, eh?  In October 2005 I was fortunate enough to get to see Ronnie James Dio perform in what I  believe turned out to be his final full UK tour.  He was, as you'd expect, excellent.  To get there, I had to drive across central England during the peak of the afternoon/early evening rush hour traffic on a Friday, into England's "second city", not knowing exactly where the venue was or what parking may or may not be available.  This is the result of that journey.  BUT.  I wrote this to the tune of Alice Cooper's "I'm So Angry", which can be found on the CD "The Eyes Of Alice Cooper".  (it's getting on a bit now, so you might be able to find a free download). The  success of this directly led to me starting to write songs aswell.  Sadly, I'm still not a fast enough guitarist to be able to share the fruits of that particular development with you; but, all considered, that is probably a bit of a   relief for you!  If you possibly can, play the song and read along to the timing of the lyrics.  It will work SO MUCH BETTER than just reading the cold, silent text.  I promise.

Shunting, stopping

Patience dropping

Only moving slow

Are we ever gonna go?

Ducking, diving

Slipping, sliding

Trying to stay clear

Of the looney who's too near

The guy behind is a clown

One lapse is all that it takes

See how his bonnet rocks down

Every time that he brakes

Can't get a look

Beyond that truck

This is so frustrating

There's no room for overtaking

Squealing tyres

Rising ires

Someone's gonna crash

Don't let me be in the smash

What was that noise we just heard?

Was it the lane we are in

The driving here is absurd

Someone has had a spin

Driving on into the night

We can see those flashing lights

There's a collision on the other side

But at least we are still trekking

Everyone is rubber-necking

While I'm concentrating on our own ride

A38

The final run

We might not be late

In reaching Birmingham

City centre

Big adventure

All we need to know

Is where we gotta go

Think I'm going insane

Every road looks the same

Cannot find the right lane

Here we go round again

We could keep this up all night

Circling about to the right

This one-way system goes round and round

And although it isn't dark

We can not find the car park

As we keep on covering the same ground.

Is "rubber-necking" a British expression?  Any US readers don't "get it"?  Please let me know!