Shit shit shit! I wrote this whole impassioned blog, and CT ate it! Bad CT, bad CT! Hope it gives you indigestion.
*grumpily starts over*
So, I was driving home from Cincinnati, listening to my iPod (LOVE my iPod, did I mention that?) when "Free To Be You and Me" came on. You know FTBYaM, right?
Every boy in this land grows to be his own man
In this land, every girl grows to be her own woman
Take my hand, come with me where the children are free
Come with me, take my hand, and we'll run
To a land where the river runs free
To a land through the green country
To a land to a shining sea
To a land where the horses run free
To a land where the children are free
And you and me are free to be
And you and me are free to be
And you and me are free to be you and me
Or, does any of this ring a bell?
It's all right to cry
Crying gets the sad out of you
It's all right to cry
It might make you feel better
"Hi!" "Hi!" "I'm a baby!" "What do you think I am, a loaf of bread?"
William has a doll, William has a doll
'Cause someday he is gonna be a father, too
Ladies first, ladies first! And so she was... and mighty tasty, too!
I grew up on Free To Be, an album, then movie, that used "poetry, songs, and sketches to salute values such as individuality, tolerance, and happiness with one's identity; a major thematic message is that you, whether a boy or a girl, can achieve anything you want." (I'm quoting Wikipedia. :)
I'm GenX, arguably the first generation of women to truly inherit the mantle of all that feminists had fought for in the 70's. We grew up with the expectation that we would build careers, find financial freedom, and enjoy what women before us had only dreamed of.
And, OK, there were a few problems. Like, there was so much pressure to forge a career, but noone ever really figured out how to balance careers and families. Or how you were sort of an alien if you didn't WANT to build a career, but instead wanted to be a homemaker and full-time mother, when, in the end, what feminists should have been fighting for was the *choice* of equality in career, or staying home with a family.
I don't know if I'm getting a strange view of things, but it seems like women now are almost rejecting those types of benefits. As if they feel they don't have those options, and that motherhood and the home are their only options. In the end, aren't we going to be better mothers if we find financial freedom first? Explore the world around us, develop our options, then choose motherhood? Instead of choosing it as a default.
One of my best friends from college was completely focused on her career. She got high up in personal banking -- a demanding high-powered career where she earned incredibly good money. Yet, she gave it up, first for love, then for motherhood, and is ver content with her life now. And hey, more power to her. Glad she's happy! But at least she knows that if, god forbid, the financial wage-earner can no longer earn that wage, she has financial independence and other options. At least she knows she could care financially for her family on her own if necessary. At least she has that confidence. And at least she explored her options, and has now chosen a life instead of choosing one by default.
In the end, I'd say to girls -- use birth control. (For heaven's sakes, you should be anyway, just for health reasons!) Fight for a career, doing something you enjoy. Go to college, explore your options! Motherhood can wait, at least for a few years, and won't you be a better mother for those experiences? For knowing you have confidence in yourself and your ability to take care of, not only yourself, but also your children?
