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LordTool's blog: "Death in a motel"

created on 01/18/2007  |  http://fubar.com/death-in-a-motel/b45881

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I wake up with the sunrise. Drink my coffee. Maybe this new day will bring something to hope for, something to dream of, something to live for. I can't find myself. This whilrwind of thoughts leaves me stuck in the past. But I have to go back. I have to pick up the pieces to where I slowly began to fall apart. They're scattered and some I find broken. But now they're all here. I hold them in my shaking cold hands. I look down and see pieces of my life when I used to feel so free. I was like a bird soaring in the sky, riding the wind. Those times I was happy. Then I see another piece and another piece, it's a picture of a boy with a heavy heart and emotions so frail. Like an orpahn who feels unwanted, rejected, and alone. I was in a place dark and cold. Life had given me a hard blow after blow. Burden with guilt, regret, and hurt. Where love had gone sour and the strength to get through, just wasn't there. Pieces of laughter and pieces of sorrow. It's all here. What's in this to learn? And what's left to be forgotten? Finding yourself isn't so hard. You're never too far away. It's what you do to make changes with realizing who you've become and who you don't want to be. I'm outside watching the sunset. I drink my coffee. Tonight I'll fall asleep with the stars. Tomorrow I'll start my new life. I've found something to hope in, something to dream of, and something to live for. "Someday I'll know the right words to say. Someday you'll know the right words to say. The right words to act on. The right words to dream on. The right words to cry to. The right words to say goodbye to... In your own way you love to play the songs that remind you to stay. Someday I'll know a brighter side of me. Someday I'll choke on the words that I say. The right words to touch you. The right words to move you. The right words to hold you. The right words to say I love you."
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