Here's a blog i posted on myspace a couple of weeks ago explaining everything:
So a lot has been going on for this little old man lately. I got called friday last minute to be in an extra in a movie called 27 Dresses. And if I am not mistaken this is affiliated with Paramount, and if it is not than the Paramount logos on the trailers and equipment are very misleading. But anyway, as it turns out, James Marsden is in this film. They finally called the extras in for the first scene and i'm just standing there and I look up and there he is a few feet away.
Now this immediately caused embarrassment to me. As fate would have it, in my first set of clothes they made me lose my belt because it was studded. I happened to be wearing the one pair of khakis I can almost pull off those pants without a belt, but alas it was still falling down and i had to keep retucking my shirt and adjusting in between every take.
Now this normally wouldn't be an issue, but they had me cross behind Jimmy in this scene, so I do this like 40 times and every time I have to readjust myself with him standing two feet in front of me. Still don't get the embarrassment? Try this on for size: I just happened to be wearing my little boy X-men briefs under said falling pants, so everytime I am readjusting, the Marvel logo is promininently displayed two feet away from Mr. Marsden, who I am actually a fan of.
I had no idea he was part of this picture, again, it was last minute, I was just told to be there in an hour and how to dress. I was almost pissing myself dreading the one moment he would look over at me readjusting and see that Marvel logo and be like, "Are you fucking serious?"
Luckily, Mr. Marsden is a very engaged actor who doesn't pay attention to much other than running his lines in between each take, so I lucked out. And yeah, I'm pretty sure you will actually see me, recognizably so in this picture, I cross his path several times in the scenes we shot, and there's more to come on Monday.
So, outside of this, because I was there on the spot when it was needed, the casting company that told me about this offered me an audition for a speaking role in the Showtime's The Brotherhood, which I went to this afternoon. I think I bombed to be honest, but the fact I made it at all deserves merit. Not only was I an extra until 1:30 AM, but I also had to close out the club because, as fate would have it, the holding pit for we extras was the very same club I work at. And due to this there was of course an after hours party at my house as there often is. I got like four hours sleep and the only way I memorized my lines before the audition was because Xavier went with me and read the scene to me over and over agan all the way from Providence to Warwick.
And I will say the casting company is tremendously awesome and sweet and the woman I dealt with even quipped with me about the underwear situation the second I walked in the door. I lived on the west coast and these people were much more socialble and in tune to their actors' feeling and dilemmas than anyone I interacted with "in the scene" out there--so you know it's good if I'm ranking it higher than my homeland, Cali.
And then the everything else.
So first of all, there is someone out there smearing my name, and you all know who she is. You also know she freeloaded off me and my father for over half a year. She was given ample opportunity and warning on when she had to be out, but somehow she is still the victim and I am a selfish user and my dad is just using her as a scapegoat for our financial woes. Cute.
Those of you that have witnessed the situation know it for the bullshit it is and this is why I know she has been slandering me. If you want more details, ask me, as you all know I give all facts and all sides of the stories. When I relate an event I don't do it to make myself look good and the other party look bad, I will give you all the details that make us both look like dumb assholes. I give facts, not opinions. So if you want the actual truth, ask me.
Other than that, I met someone truly superb a couple weeks ago, and things are going good aside from the fact that I am not used to things going so well so now I am having all these insecurity issues that will ultimately be my own demise.
I'm DJing again, thank God, another thing I am always insecure about, but I do get positive feedback not just from my friends, but also from my coworkers, which makes me feel nice.
I got my first two, possibly three, paying clients with my photography.
I had an interesting heart to heart with one of my uncle's today and it was nice to know that A) he trusted me that much and B) he supported me in a lot of the decisions I am making in my own life. His opinion I do value and, as we all know, I'm not always used to support in my bloodline, so it was very nice to hear encouraging words from a man I do heartily respect.
I think that's it. My mind is a mile a minute with this person I care so much for, this audition I think I bombed, this extra thing I will be partaking in again Monday, friends that have remained friends and friends that have succumbed to the naysaying of others who don't know me from a hole in the fucking wall apparently.
But to all of you that have ridden the roller coaster with me, or have even just been too involved in your own personal roller coasters to even notice mine, thank you for existing and being here. Don't ever think, as self involved as I can get, that I don't notice. But I know those of you that care the most do realize that, and so I end this blog on a thank you note for that.
Your support means more to me than you will ever know. I make being me look so fun most of the time I don't think anyone really realizes just how hard it is. I wouldn't be on Klonopin if it were easy. But there are that stack of you that just steadily make it worth my while to even breathe, and I cherish every moment spent with you. Know this, always.
=)
*update:
It's been a month and i am still steadily seeing my guy, things are going great there.
I had to drastically change my appearance again so I could be involved in another scene with 27 Dresses, which I will be working on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. I never heard back from the Brotherhood so I think I did in fact bomb that one, but I have more auditions on the way. I still Have to finish my paying clients pictures but time has been so limited.
So if I still seem to be the ghost friend, this is all why. Take care people and drop me a line. I may not always start the ball rolling, but those of you I talk to most know I always respond to emails even if it does take a few days to do it. Hope all is well with everyone.
