How do you get a man aroused?
Just be there.
What are the three words a woman can always expect from a man after sex?
How was I?
When a woman is pregnant, she craves odd stuff. What does a man crave?
Other women.
Why are men obsessed with breasts?
Because women have them.
Why do married women complain about their husbands so much?
Their husbands are men.
What is a woman's wildest, raunchiest, dirtiest, sleaziest sexual fantasy ever?
A man who thinks.
Why do women always fall for the wrong kind of guy?
Is there any other kind?
What do you do if you see a field full of men?
Smile... and reload your gun.
What would get your man to put down the toilet seat?
A sex-change operation.
What do men and apes have in common?
Everything.
How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat?
I don't know; it's never been done.
Why should men work seven days a week?
So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
What do you get when you take away half of a woman's brain?
A smart man
How can you tell if a man is intelligent?
You poor, naive thing!
Why are beer cans so easy to open?
Look who's drinking them.
Why do angry males act like such morons?
Who says they're acting?
What does it mean when the man in the house suddenly shows you affection, tenderness and sympathy?
It means you're in the wrong house.
What is the difference between a puppy and a man?
Eventually the puppy will grow up and stop whining.
How do we know men invented maps?
Who else would make an inch into a mile?
