Holding out these empty armsCursing my disillusionment Why did I imagine it could be any other waythat I could have been content, dreams that’s all it was,Mothers arms are not meant to be emptyI look up at the sky, tears filling my eyes,Searching the stars trying to find my angelThe brightest star I search for Finding it the first tear rolls down my cheekMemories flood back of our short time togetherLove totally encasing my heart as I look at that starI know you are there baby I will never forgetI just can’t come to accept as I look that you are so farI would have cuddled and loved you kept you safeWithin my arms holding you in a tight embraceI will search these skies for you each nightBut just for now have to leave you in Gods guiding lightSleep well my baby one day my arms and heart will be full againAs I join you and give you all that was meant to be

16 years have come and gone and it still feels like yesterday that I held you in my arms. Not a day goes by that I do not think of you. Your perfect little hands and feet. The feel of you in my arms as you took your last breath. God needed you with him. To this day I am still angry with him for that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know everything happens for a reason and I know they say it gets easier over time but they lied. It doesn't get easier. 16 years and I still want to die instead of you