Im such a child sometimes, its really frustrating to step back and look at myself. I always seem to take a step back and look at my views on life and love after reading a particular anime series that I read. I dont want to mention the title because I would feel like I was revealing too much of myself. And right now I feel exposed enough, even though I'm keeping everything to myself.
I know how I would like my life to be, and how I think love should be; but the reality of it all is that its not what I would like. Perhaps thats why I always want to run. Thats what the main character in the series does when faced with a situation she cant handle.
Holds everything back, keeps it locked away inside; until she cant take it anymore and runs. It amazes me how much we have in common, and as a reader I have an outside view and I'm screaming at her, trying to tell her what she should be doing instead of what she is doing. I wish I had someone like that, to be a little voice in my head.
Its childish, but I still wish things could be the way I think. I suppose we all do at some point here or there, and I'm fighting with it. Trying to be an adult about things, being responsible and grown up. When all I really want to do is cry out, throw away all pretenses and just be me.
