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This is a group for all of us who were raised in Ionia but refuse to call it home - for those who have thankfully made it out of that town...but laugh when you think of everything you experienced there.
You know you were raised in Ionia when...
1) The highlight of the summer is attending the Worlds Largest Free Fair on a daily basis.
2) The prison sirens never distracted you during MEAP testing.
3) You know all of the homeless people by their first names. (Dirty Dave, Killer Miller)
4) It's completely normal to see cows running across the driving range during golf practice.
5) Nobody knew what to do when the traffic light was out at the M-66 and Tuttle Rd. intersection
6) You've almost died trying to make a left turn into the Olivera's parking lot.
7) If you can't buy something for a $1 then you aren't really looking...
8) The biggest news of the year was the gas war between Meijer & K-mart
9) You were guaranteed at least one 1/2 day off a year due to a bomb threat.
10) You were able to smell the scent of buring chicken from your house the day the barns by the expressway burned down.
11) When you just assume that everyone has one family member that works for a prison, and you're right.
12) When you know that it means trouble to party at the gravel pits...
13) If you've ever nearly died at Bertha Brock Park during the winter.
14) If you understand what a feat it is to ride down Union Hill in a shopping cart.
15) If you've ever seen roadkill tied to someone's bumper in the student parking lot.
16) Whenever you hear someone go "errm, ummm, uhhh" you think about 10th grade American History class, or driver's ed.
17) In High School or Middle School you used up to 5 napkins to soak up the grease on the pizza.
18) After you graduated you sometimes find yourself with random cravings for those half-baked cookies from IHS
19) You knew it was gonna be a good day when you had a substitute teacher and it was Goose.
20.) When all of your new friends at college can't believe the number of stop lights and the number of prisons in the town is pretty much the same.
21.) When you can say you live a mile or less away from a prison.
22.) When you say you are going up "the hill" or "meijer hill" people know exactly what you mean.
23.) You had a fascination with 'Mini Mini Ha Ha' at one point in time..and were sadly devasted when you finally found her gravsite...only to find its locked up.
24.) You've driven to Lowell just for Taco Bell. (Before Ionia got one)
25.) There arent enough kids at school on opening day of deer season to count it as a day of school.
26.) When you talk to a rebel flag flying redneck from texas only to be confused when you find he's never left michigan and neither have his parents...
27.) You know what a "pickle cube" is and it brings back fond memories of Skateland.
28.) you've come to accept your town has a man who drives a lawnmower on the road.
29.) When the the teen pregnancy rates are higher than the literacy rates.
30.) When there's a barn in the middle of Walmart's parking lot for historical reasons
