MorallyBankrupt's blog: "Sometimes shit just happens"

Anybody that knows me knows, shit just happens to me.  Good, bad, random doesnt matter.  One of my constant phrases is "Hell I dunno shit just happens".  So to start off this new blog, I will send this out to Itty...

Few years ago I decide one saturday to go fishing.  The pond I am going to is just a couple miles out of town so I drive out, fishing gear in tow ready for a relaxing day of fishing.  I spend a few hours and get a little sunburned but I am still fine.  I did well caught about 8 good size catfish.  I had parked up on a hill, you had to go down a bank about 20 feet to get to the pond.  The bank was rather steep.  Now I am also rather lazy, so I decided to tote everything up at one time.  I have my fish on a stringer I hold it in my left hand and throw it over my left shoulder.  I have my pole, tackle box, etc in my right hand and away I go.  The footing wasnt great but I persisted, not to be denied.  I reached the top, felt good about myself and I stepped into a hole.  My leg buckled, I fought it, leaned forward as much as I could but to no avail.  I started to tumble, I am sure I looked like a steroid induced russian powerlifter tryin to do a tumbling exercise.  Head over heals down I go, in a blur of fish, man, and curse words flying out of my mouth.

I reach the pond and stop myself just short of falling in.  I stand straight up and gather myself doing my very best Erckel pose.  Saying to myself, its cool nobody saw you.  Then I feel it, a burning sensation coming from my back.  Not just any part of my back, but right in the middle, where you cant reach.  You turn and twist contorting your body but nothing you do works.  You see catfish have these barbs.  And during my acrobatic routine, one of his barbs embedded into my back.  Buried is more like it actually.  So I crawl to the truck, still with all my gear, but now with a passenger.  I take my pole and slap it behind me, the fish wont budge, I do however add a few welts to my head and neck from the fishing pole.  No I forgot to take the hook out and yes that hurts also.  I open the door and scratch my back against the edge, trying to pry the fish off.  The fish isnt moving, its me or him.  He wont let go, and he is talking to me. Making the gurgling sounds they make when they are out of the water.  But to me he was telin me "thats right you stupid bastard I got your ass now, you are my bitch".  The anger boiled in me, this damn fish, I hate this fish.  I dumped everything into the truck, took the rest of the fish off the stringer, get in still with this fish in my back.

I have to push the seat way back from the steering wheel so I can lean forward while I drive.  But where do I drive?  Do I go to the hospital?  HELL NO, im picky about who knows of my stupidity, they know me there anyway.  So I drive to town, desperatley searching for a friend, foe, kind soul anybody to remove this damn fish.

I find a friend, inform him of my dilemma, being the great friend he is, of course he got on his CB and told everybody who was listening.  He removed the fish, I gave him the others as payment.  But that fish, he was mine, oh the things I did to this fish.  WHOS YOUR DADDY NOW FISH!!!!

My dad told me when I was just starting to drive, anytime he saw a group of us in a car with no female he was worried.  He would say son, there is just no outlet for stupid.  One person says lets do something, the others agree and you get in a stupid loop.  It goes from person to person building momentum, you must open a window, call your gf, something to break the stupid.  Thankfully I have an outlet for stupid.  I simply ask myself W.W.A.D.  It helps but not always.

Anyway ty itty, you are my outlet for stupid.