well, never used the blogs on here, i post on myspace mostly though i think i need to start writing certain entries somewhere else because of people who read my blogs. seems my life often makes others be in pain and such :/ just because they care about me and such, so maybe to keep from them reading and being hurt best i write those certain things here and be more guarded about what i say on my other account though i hate the idea of being closed off or dishonest or soemthing.
my friend michelle and some others who are in love with me read it though and talking about my feelings for other people probably doesn't make them feel too good :/ it seems this summer everyone has fallen inlove with me and yet i've remained alone and with nothing to do most of the time. 14 year olds especially have been falling for me, especially girls in michigan. 3 girls in michigan like me. one of them carved my initials in her wrist the other night and ended up in the hospital. tho i still hope its some joke but she keeps telling me she loves me and such i didnt even know she liked me till the day she cut herself.
i had mentioned that im sort of falling for my friend rochelle (who i met on here like 4 or 5 days ago) and the person got all pissed off saying she hated me and never wanted to talk to me again. she calmed down eventually though after supposedly trying to kill herself a few times. and my other friend well she's more quiet about her feelings but has carved my initials in her arm too now.. and an x over her heart to keep from forgetting me. *sigh* it's frustrating. she's had such a crappy summer mostly cuz her friend terra is obsessed with her, guess she knows how i feel somewhat though she isn't dramatic like terra is. though she keeps writing stories and poems about how she's dying because of me but will remain silent. she seems to think she remains in the shadows about her feelings for me but she doesn't at all, she just doesn't right out say she loves me.
i'm in desperate need of a job, i've been writing articles on a site which i get money when people view them but it's not enough. perhaps i can get it up to a high enough profit to pay for my car but that's about it i think. i may look up some more free lance writing things but i don't have enough knowledge about the world. i'm better at creative writing. i can do great reports if i research them though. hmm they mentioned billy joel on sesame street and i think he's now singing the abc's interesting. anways yeah hoorah for my first post.
