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laura 772's blog: "final goodbye"

created on 05/10/2007  |  http://fubar.com/final-goodbye/b81322

my final goodbye

i was talkin with a very close friend lastnight and i had anxiety attack about my mom.for her death.if i wasnt where i was when she called i wouldnt of been fighting with her and we woulda still been talkin, and she would still be here today,and woulda never been under the stress&disapointment that i put her thru that valentines day.and the true friend that he is tried to talk me thru it even as much as i didnt wanna hear it wasnt my fault for her death.he said to do good in my life to make her proud.that she wouldnt want me not eating, sleeping or crying over her.and hes right she wouldnt want me crying over her death. in fact she woulda wanted to have her captn morgan at her showing with her music playin in the background. but anyway he talked some sense into me and said a way that i could say my final goodbye to her since we werent talkin when she died. he said to do something that she wanted, and she always said she wanted her ashes spread at her parents grave that way she could be with them.so thats what im gonna do. eventho i dont wanna say goodbye id rather have her here but im gonna do it for closure and hopefully not get caught doin it lol.im not gonna burry all her ashes but some.its true friends like peppy that i love and will always cherrish close to my heart, they are the ones that we both have been there for each other thru good and bad times and help each other no matter what. im really hoping this works and helps me get closure, cuz im in alot of pain and dont know how to deal with this anymore.
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