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What are you waiting for?
Tiny bursts of flame turn into a raging fire inside me, a longing for someone to understand, understand that there is a deep pain inside me. A pain that for so long now has seemed to engulf my very spirit refusing to set it free I sit there in a constant daily battle almost begging for it to keep me alive. A force that though slightly seen by others acts as a wall to defend me from the good that people are trying to bestow onto me. I no longer wish for that wall to stand. I wish to let go and be as the bird on the window sill and just fly away leaving it behind. I feel as a ghost trapped in a house of misery, a bird with no song to sing, a person with no real purpose to be here. Till the day a death is brought onto the demon holding me prisoner I will not sleep a comforting night, I will not fully enjoy the taste of the meal before me, I will not fully be free. This world I am in holds me in place but I do not hold it in my heart. A ghost wandering the fields of reason bathing in the river of hope. A new rebirth is what I am looking for a new way to let the demons go and move on and truly live for once. I know when it happens it will feel like cool running water on a hot summer day. I can enjoy the fruit of my life and plant my own beginnings. The real question though is when this day will come. When will he choke on his own deception, when will he hang himself from all the wrong. Not soon enough for I am still fighting to live.
