i was in a thinking mood today, well lately i have been in a thinking mood, and for those of you who do not know everything has just been crashing down, in my little world. i thought i was strong and hell maybe i still am. whenever i try to be selfless i come off as being selfish. whenever i try to cry i feel like i am showing weakness. whenever i let go and scream like i want to i hurt peoples feelings. i am tired of being the strong one and i am tired of being the one who always knows what to say and really in the end i dont know who else to blame but myself. so is it really my fault for wanting to be alone? i feel like i am doing the right thing for myself but then again how do you know what the right thing is when everyone else thinks the "right thing" is wrong. letting go is so hard, and when you can't let go to the past how can you move forward? when the past and the present has you so screwed up that you can't even think how can you really have a future? all the arguements and all the tears will never change anything if nothing is said, and you can say alot even without words. actions and body language say alot more than you could imagine. when all you feel is nothingness and you know that you have nothing to give but honesty how does that make you a bad person? when sorry just isnt enough, what else can you say but,... goodbye? what it all boils down to is one simple fact sadly but true: IN THE END ALL YOU HAVE IS YOURSELF, ONLY YOURSELF TO BLAME AND ONLY YOURSELF TO DEPEND ON!
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