so its really late... I should be fast asleep but i have so much on my mind and i have no idea where i dare to start ...
I am so screwed emotionally and i have no idea where ever dare to start. I feel so lost with everything, things have been so busy and are going to continue to be busy ... manuvers coming up and i know i have a shit load i still have to do come morning i should be in bed... but my brain just refuses to shut off.
I wonder if things will ever really start going my way or if simply i am fooling myself with false hopes.
Wondering if i can be honestly happy or if thats just another fantasy... I wish i had some idea and i just wish i could spend one night where i didn't feel totally lost , not to mention alone.
I cant help my brother with his situation , i cant even help myself ... I guess that leaves me screwed right? I wish i could get some proper sleep.... I doubt that will happen any time soon either.
Anyone care to tell me i am not crazy? I would love to feel not crazy.... We wont even get into my emotional feelings towards others in this blog cause seriously it would go on forever..
I guess i should attempt some kinda sleep... seeing as i get to be up at 0530. Guess that means im going to bed.
Night all
