I was standing in front of the mirror last night. And I saw my body. It was like I was seeing what I truly looked like for the first time. I had to take a second look. I did not think I looked really like I did. I was like OH MY GOSH!!!! Lets just say I didn't agree with what I saw. I mean I know that I am the size I am but I didn't truly realize till last night just how others actually see me.
So with all that said, I am giving my diet that I had started with a friend and let her down by not doing what I was supossed to even more than 100%. As I stood there and stared in the mirror I cried realizing that if I had only been giving it 100% from the beginning I wouldn't have looked as "gross" as I thought I saw in the mirror.
It will be a long road, and a very tough one at that but I know with the support of friends and family, and my ownself that I can do it. With that said I am putting out a plea to have all the support I can with this. I don't need any put downs from anyone, I need encouragement from everyone. And If you hear me say that I wanna give up please remind me of what I said in the beginning of this bulletin about how I said I look "gross" because I am sure there will be times that I want to give up, but for my own health I can not let myself do that.
Again I ask for everyones support and encouragement. And to the friend I hurt (you know who you are) I am truly sorry that I hurt you and it took me this long to realize how bad I have been about this and that I am going to continue to work hard on this, and I do thank you for all the support you gave me from the beginning, and I also thank you for the words you said in the emails since the day I hurt you, I have been reading them over and over in my head and really rethinking the ways I was doing.
