Lately I have been taking alot of heat from people. I have tried to be strong and not let it get to me. The more people treat me like a punching bag the more I am like why am I even here. I mean I know what its like to be hurting but why keep taking it out on a person who genuinely does care?
I may not always say the right thing.. I may get hurt easily but I only get hurt if you mean something to me. I feel like lately I can't do anything right. I wish I knew what I was doing wrong.
I am starting to feel myself fall into a depression and I hate that.. It has been years since I have felt the way I do right now. It took me losing my grandmother last month and then feeling like I am losing people I considered friends for me to feel as horrible as I do. I just wish I knew who I could let that wall down for and not have to be scared they are going to hurt me...
I have all this stuff going on already and I still have a divorce to worry about next month. It should be easy but nothing has ever been easy when it comes to my ex... its just one more source of pain for me....
I am starting to feel lost... and really really bummed......
