SOME THINGS U JUST HAVE TO WRITE THE SHIT GOING ON IN UR HEAD.. FOR ME.. IM ALL KINDS OF FUCKED UP.. IM DIVORCING MY EX.. HE IS SO NOT MAKING THIS EASY FOR ME TO LIKE HIM STILL.. HE IS NOT HELPING MUCH.. AN YEA THAT BITS. WE WHERE TOGETHER FOR 10 YEARS THIS JULY 5TH.. YEAP TOMORROW.. HURTS A LITTLE.. BEEN TOGETHER FOR SO LONG.. LOKING BACK I KNOW AND HE KNOWS WE JUST FUCKED UP ALOT.. I WAS TREADED GOOD SOME TIMES.. BUT THE REST MADE ME FEEL AS IF I WAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH.. ITS SOMETHING I HAVE ALWAYS HEARD MY WHOLE LIFE.. AN IM SICK OF IT.. RIGHT NOW I WORK ALL THE TIME IT SEEMS. AN I HAVE LESS TIME TO SPEND WITH MY KIDS.. THAT I REALLY FUCKING MISS.. MY MOM HELPS ME WITH THEM. BUT TELLS ME ALL THE TIME HOW IM FUCKING UP AS A MOM.. SHE WAS THE WORSE MOM I COULD HAVE EVER HAD.. BUT ANY WAYS.. THERE IS ALOT OF PAIN.. AN THE TWO THINGS THAT MAKE ME FORGET THE WORLD.. I CANT BE WTIH.. I DONT SEE MY KIDS THAT MUCH CAUSE IM ON THE ROAD. AN WHEN IM HOME WE PLAY THEN TAKE BATHS AND GO TO BED.. AN THE OTHER.. WELL THE OTHER IS SOMEONE IM TRYING NOT TO PUSH AWAY.. CAUSE HE REALLY HAS BEEN SOMETHING WONDERFUL TO ME.. I HAVE NEVER HAD WHAT HE GIVES ME.. AN IM JUST HIS FRIEND.. HE HAS HIS OWN PAIN TO FIGHT.. AN I TRY ALL THE TIME TO NOT MAKE IT BAD FOR THE BOTH OF US.. IF HE WOULD LET ME I WOULD NEVER LEAVE HIM.. BUT IM HURTING SO BAD.. I JUST PUSH PPL AWAY. FIND WAYS TO SHOW THEM HOW FUCKED UP I AM.. THAT IM NOT WORTH ANY THING.. SOME TIMES NOT EVERN THE AIR I BREATH COUNTS.. AN IT HURTS TO SAY THAT.. BUT ITS HOW I FEEL WHEN IM WITH THESE PPL THAT HAVE TOLD ME IM NOTHING.. SO IM FEELING THAT WAY.. LAST NITE I JUST WANTED TO RUN TO MY FRIEND.. BUT I DID SOME THING ELS. JUST SO I DIDNT RUN TO HIM.. AN THE WHOLE TIME I CALLED HIM. CAUSE I WAS SCARED OF WHAT I WAS IN.. IM JUST FALLING AND I JUST HOPE SOME ONE CAN CATCH ME. CAUSE IM FALLING FAST.. AN I SEE THE WATER AND THE SHARP ROCKS.. I KNOW IM DROWNING.. OMG CAN I MAKE IT.. :(
TAKE CARE EVERY ONE. SORRY ITS A DOWNER..
FALLING ANGEL
