(Wow, two in one morning. I was averaging writing five or so of these a month.)
Has it ever dawned on you what really gets people into trouble?
The answer is simple - sex.
Why do we live?
Eventually, we want to procreate. We want to bring kids in the world, live vicariously through them, watch them do things we always wanted to do but couldn't because we were too old, too scared, too unsure...
Sex feels good, either on the physical side which explores the warmth of another person's touch or the explosive rush of energy and tension of muscles caused by a mind-blowing orgasm, or on the emotional side, feeling connected with a partner and melting into them, becoming one.
Either way, the concept of getting one's stick wet seems to have more cons than pros...
As a man, we constantly fight an uphill battle to have our needs met without being accused of having an agenda ("You only want me because you want to screw me") or being forever mislabled ("I love you like a brother; I don't want sex to ruin what we have"). We don't have the luxury of being able to "choose" our mates - yes, we do the asking most of the time, but society gives women the ultimate power of "yes" or "no" regardless of our intent.
So, what can I do about it?
I pondered celibacy for a while. It seemed to make sense. Imagine removing the trump card that women use to get us to do what they want. All the sexy posing, all the semi-nude photos, all the cleavage and "neathage" (boob shots from below), all the promises of the wonderful things she can do with her tongue - they won't crack open my wallet with anything less than a crowbar if I'm not looking to plow them.
Women are fully aware that they have the power. Many of them use it, knowing full well that a sexually-frustrated or addicted male will jump through lots of hoops to get her to open her legs to him. And while this sometimes costs this man anything ranging from a few dollars to his dignity, in the end, the female wins out - many times without even putting out. Even if he doesn't buy her a car, she knows that for that split second, she had his full attention and there was nothing he wouldn't do for her.
I qualified the above paragraph with the word "many." For each one of these women that fit the above description, there's one that does things the right way. There are women who don't promise sex or any sort of hanky-panky, but can still manage to show you a good time. During my excursion to Oregon, a cherry whose CT handle is "Average Italian Chick" met up with me in Portland, her two darling, beautiful children in tow, and she helped me feed three needs: the need for company (she hung out with me), the need for food (we ate), and the need to bowl (wow, I need to work on converting my 10-pins). And when that day was over, neither of us was thinking of performance anxiety or whether the other came; the four of us enjoyed ourselves in a G-rated way.
The chase isn't worth it. There's too much disappointment if it doesn't happen at all, or if it doesn't happen the way you want it to. There's no opportunity to be teased if they're not trying to get you to look at their naughty bits to begin with.
I think that's the real secret to keeping your needs met: don't have many needs. Then, your hotel room won't feel so lonely on Friday nights.
Keep it all in perspective.
