Well, it's Monday, 16 June. Unfortunately, yesterday was the first father's day since 2000 that I did not have kids around me. It was kind of a weird feeling. I mean, Father's Day, let's just take a moment and look at that. It's a day where your kids are supposed to be around, and time for you to spend a little extra time with them. They may make you breakfast, or it may be simple as just a few more minutes.
I called my to be ex, and spoke to all 3 of my boys, but really took the time to talk to Wesley. Yesterday was also his 6th birthday. It seems weird to me to think that I have a 7 year old and a 6 year old, not to mention a 4 year old.
It's funny, over the past year, I have really started to realize how much they, and everyone means to me. I mean, I am not the best at emailing, or calling, but when I talk to those who mean a lot to me, I make sure that I try to tell them how much they mean to me. Everytime I speak to my dad, my mom, my boys, some of my friends, I express to them that I do love them.
I mean, it may sound morbid to some, but if something should happen to me, will they know? I know I did not do everything right, but will they know what they meant to me? Maybe I should write one of THE "letters". I don't know. It seems to me like asking for it, but part of me wants those who matter the most to know some things. Nothing that I would confess to make my soul get into heaven, but just some stuff that I do not talk about.
Maybe I am just getting old and sentimental. Maybe it is the fact that the last month has been kind of a turning point in my life. Maybe I just need to keep driving on and realize that I am not going to let her yank me around anymore. Maybe, maybe I just don't know anything anymore.
