Addiction's blog: "Stuff and nonsense"

There was a quaint little community known as Gainesville, Georgia. It was filled with lots and lots of poultry farms, and prided itself on being "the chicken capitol of America!" Some major poultry processing plants operate out of Gainesville, and employ lots of good, honest, hard-working bubbas who pluck and clean and prepare those chickens for our dinner tables. 

But one day, the managers at one of the biggest plants made a discovery. Some of the decent Abercrombie and Fitch boys working on the chicken assembly line were "having their way" with the poultry. Apparently the workers believed that since the chickens were going to die ANYWAY, and be all cut up, nobody would ever notice. Which is true.

And so, for a time, many a foul fowl was being processed alongside pure, virgin birds. 

Unfortunately, the workers who'd been enjoying their chickens uncooked were arrested. There was only one problem: neither the quaint town of Gainesville nor the bubba-headed state of Georgia had any laws under which the miscreants could be convicted for this crime against nature. They could only get them on misdemeanors involving health ordinances. 

So, in their oppressive lunacy, the same political system that brought you Newt Gingrich and Joe Barr, enacted new legislation to make sure that the next time some bubbas decided to go chicken-fuckin' on an assembly line, they could charge them with that crime. Explicitly. 

And that is how the state of Georgia came to have a law against doing the deed with cluckers who eat seed.