merlin bear's blog: "family"

you may have noticed that i ran only 3 famps last week instead of my normal 5 or more. 

two weeks ago i received unexpected notice to vacate the studio/cottage where i have lived for almost 3 years.  it has been an excellent arrangement for the past 3 years, as i have been doing organic gardening in exchange for rent, but it is time for change.  this change will be awesome for me, giving me my own kitchen and full bathroom as well as more privacy and independence, but it comes at a cost. 

i will be going through a significant interruption to my famping over the next few weeks in order to make deposits for utilities, first & last months rent, and some basic furnishings that i will be needing for my new home.  in a few weeks things will be settling down with my new budget, which i anticipate allowing me to resume famping at a rate of 3 times per week.  i am afraid the daze of 5 times per week have passed. 

if you have been famping me as often or more than i have famped you, i fully understand and respect that you may want to remove me from your family, and i hope that we may enjoy family relations again in the future. 

if i have famped you much more than you have famped me and you choose to remove me, i respect your choice to do so, but it may have an adverse effect on the prospect of future family relations.  fair is fair.  i think the famp-balance reflects a nice bank of accumulated good karma with most of my family **wink**

**bear hug**

Family

Fubar is a game and it is a social network.

For some of us it is “just a game,” for some of us it is “just a social network,” and perhaps for most of us, it is something of both. Each of us chooses how much of each it is for us.

Our Fubar Family also means different things to each of us, and much of what it means may be determined by what Fubar means (game vs social.)

Family takes on new meaning when one runs famplifiers regularly, whether one wishes it to or not. Run famplifiers regularly and it attracts people who want to be in your family. It puts a certain pressure on a person who runs famplifiers often: pressure to make some difficult choices because once a family is full, one cannot add a person without removing a person.

I enjoy Fubar for both the game and the social aspects. I try to maintain my own idea of balance between “gamers” and “heart connections” with my family and where I put my energies here.

There are several reasons why I might remove a person from my family, among those reasons are:

1. They have not been spending time on Fubar (it's okay, there is life outside of Fubar, but my family spots are for people who are actively playing, benefiting from, supporting, and appreciating the family spot.)

2. They rarely or never pimp me out when I am famping them (pimpouts are appreciated, but NOT expected from people who famp me as often as I famp them)

3. They do not come to my page to like, rate, and comment. (again, I excuse some family members who famp me often and people who stay connected with pm's and/or chat)

When I remove someone from my family it does not mean I do not like them or that I don't value the friendship or them as a person. It is likely because of one of the above reasons. I am fine with having friends who do not do any of those things, but just saying, for my family I want people who are close and supportive. If you are not famping me often that is fine, but if you are in my family and wish to stay there you might want to find some other way to show your appreciation and support. I spend hundreds of dollars every month on famps and I prefer sharing their benefits with people who I know are appreciating it.

Like I said at the start of this blog, we each get to decide what our Fubar family means to us. But it becomes problematic when we expect, assume, or project that it means to others what it means to us.