Falling in love with you
is one of the hardest things I've ever done.
Some people find that strange,
but then,
they haven't been fighting their heart for years,
relabling every feeling as "misguided" or worse.
When I speak to you,
I'm still waiting for the numbness that refuses to come.
The other day when you left,
my heart screamed a protest.
Was it fake?
I ask myself the question again,
the same question I've been asking for all this time.
The difficulty of the situation is made harder
by the fact you want me too.
How do I know?
The smiles you give me,
the phrases you choose,
your eyes.
I stare into your eyes and my heart jumps.
I stare into your eyes and my head reels.
We're best friends, but
I think I'm in love with you,
I'm convinced you're in love with me,
but I can't be sure.
I can't tell you my feelings,
I can't hear you tell me yours.
You're the girl I want, but it cannot be.
Can we ever be together?
The answer to that is what really leaves me numb.
