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Falling apart bit by bit

I watched it all fall apart. I made several mistakes, ones that I wish I could take back now ... but it is too late. I don't have a chance and I have lost it all. made one mistake and now I fall. Open wounds and a cracked heart. Everything's ending and there is nowhere to start. I gave it my everything and gave it my all, but in the end I pushed to hard and erected now is a wall. I stumble over everything of my past and my foes, why is it this way that the story must go? All I wanted in anything that has come to pass, was a chance for him to see me for me and see through me like stained glass. I just wanted a chance to make everything right, but to ruin everything purposelessly I guess was my subconscious plight. Why cant I take it all back and get one more try? It is times like this that makes me want to die. I messed up with all of them let my emotions take control, but it was the only way for me not to sink into my own soul. I couldn't let things build up and they only saw what remained, it was things that had to come out or risk me going insane. but it is these things that they dont understand and probably never could, it is things that they wont think about and probably should. I am my own person and what is happening to me has let me down, and on the inside is not the only place I can frown. I am sorry I have been depressed and take it out on you, The shock of reality has just hit ... so sad and true. I am sorry I could not be exactly what they need, in the end all I can be at best is me. Why cant you love me through my tears and pain, instead of putting me down for my feelings and doig so in vain. It would help so much for comfort and care, for you to act like I mean something and act like you care. Don't put me down because I cry, but instead rejoice because I am still alive. When all I have been through and all that I have seen, is tearing me apart and ripping me at the seams. It could be worse let me tell you this now, but this is the pain and the suffering I must endow. I am sorry you have to see it and I am sorry it makes your life sad, but think of how it is for me ... and how it makes me feel bad. I am sorry for everything that I have done and could not stop, I will try to be better this time and I will try to let things drop. All I ask is for another chance to make things right for all, because in the end I want to break down this brick wall. Please forgive me for the tears and things I had no way else to release, i will try my hardest to let my emotions cease. Because I dont want to be the reason life has become so hard for you, I want to help you in this life and help you get through. So please take this as my promise to try the best that I am able to, and this is my solemn vow to try and make things right by you. If it takes me locking up my emotions inside, and if it takes me holding everything to the point that I die ... Then I will do it for you, bring death to me. For I will do eveything I can do, and will be the best I can be.
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