I have to get this out. I'm not looking for a pity party or whining about my life. I'm not trying to be a martyr and I know that I can change my feelings, and I'm working on all of this right now. I guess you could just call this blog, a grouping of energy and thoughts.
Sometimes, I feel like a failure. I feel like nothing I do is ever good enough. I do so much for everyone around me, and I get nothing in the way of appreciation or thanks for it. I feel like I fail as a wife, a mother, a friend, etc...I could go on and on, but I think you all get the general idea. Life is what we make it, or so someone once said. In relativity, that's a true statement, but when you deal in facts, as I tend to do, it isn't. Life isn't what you make it, life is a game. A long monotonous game, consisting of the cards we are dealt and how those cards are played by us. We as humans are an oddity to me, because at some point in your life, you will come across complete imbeciles and wonder, sometimes out loud, how in the hell someone so moronic could ever exist. You'll also bump into some truly amazing people. People who have such large hearts and minds, that you'll find yourself awed to be in their very presence, let alone be honored with the ability to call them your friend. I've run into people from both sides of that line, and also a few who straddle that line. I'd like to consider myself an intelligent being, but sometimes I find myself in some of the most moronic situations, that it is hard to figure out where my place on either side of the line should be or maybe if I should just walk the line between the 2 sides, as some people are known to do. A very dear friend of mine just stated to me that "There is no failure to do, only failure to try." When I asked him if failure existed after you've tried, he had no response to my question, so I'm forced to come to the conclusion that failure does exist in all forms. When I expressed my conclusions to him, he became upset with me, and when I told him that now he knew how I felt when he speaks that way to me, he changed his mind. Now, he's one of those amazing people that I've been blessed with the ability of calling my friend, and his friendship and honesty mean the world to me. He's a prime example of a truly amazing person. We won't go into the examples I could give of truly moronic people, but I'm sure a few of you who read this can guess, and before the question is asked, yes, a few of those moronic characters inspired this portion of the blog.
I believe that I've drifted off topic, yet again, so I will close this blog with one last thought. Think on this for a while, and then let me know how you feel about it.
The same people who control knowledge, create morality. All we know are half-truths, and all learning is incomplete. True and complete knowledge can't come from what you've learned based on the intellect of others; true and complete knowledge comes from having been there to see and experience it for yourself.
