Kylie the Wild Endangered Soxy Girl's blog: "Facing Fear"

I took these photos to challenge myself. I face my fear every day, every morning, every evening. For some people phobias might seem like a joke. But other people will know how real they can be. My fear has been with me as long as I can remember. Which is to say that there isn't a timeframe in my memory I can look back on when I was not afraid of bridges. I wish there was. I have had hypnosis therapy to deal with a traumatic experience of seeing a bridge collapse in Connecticut when I was about 9 or 10 years old. The root of my fear is that it will collapse while I am on the span. My secondary fear is that I will witness it collapsing and people dying but I myself will be spared. My lower level fear is that I will one day see a jumper. I've been in traffic because of one, I've read about them, but I haven't seen one. And I hope I never do. I hear New Yorkers shout at them to jump. Can you imagine? The edge of the fear, the very worst, the complete paralyzing and hyperventilating aspects have, for the most part, been controlled. But it still grips me every now and then. And currently, I must cross this bridge in the photos twice a day. It is a long bridge, more than one mile long. I only have photos of the mid-section because that is the part that haunts me. Most of the bridge is on pilings and only the mid-section is without support beneath it. This is the part they call the span. Traffic always backs up on the span because there are tolls to pay at the end. When you've crested the span and you're coming off on the eastbound side, you can turn your head and see the NYC skyline. It has a sense of beauty to it, but usually I just feel an extreme sense of uneasy relief. And then I cough up my $4.50 for the right to be so frightened. This is why I don't need to pay money to see horror movies. I have enough fear for real life.