MOVE THEM BOXES!
Extreme Home Makeover is in our fair city of Fresno.
The media is covering it like it mad. Finally, there is something positive to cover. Sure sure. They had a response from THOUSANDS to volunteer for this build.
This is always the case. When it comes to giving at any other time, Fresno just isnt that into Fresno.
I decided to take the boys to see what the hooplah is about. The city had a bus you could ride, to the site. We went that route. Took my niece with us, too.
We wait for the bus, wasnt too long of a wait. We get in the bus. Crowdeded to capacity. We got a seat, though. OF COURSE. We had our battle plans laid out. We were not standing with a 4 year old.
Then the jokes start...
"Ever see The Laughing Police Man? That was about a bus load of people getting shot in SF."
" Ever see SPEED? There was a bomb."
"What if a train suddenly appears out of no where and hits the bus?" ( on the freeway.)
"What if the bus goes up the side of the freeway, rolls over and kills us all? That would put a damper on this day."
Keep in mind, each comment was followed by a round of laughter ala Beavis and Butthead.
We get there. weee. We get dropped off in the middle of a neighborhood . There are lines of people wanting to go back to the parking lot. As I get off the bus, I ask the crowd," Did you have fun? was it awesome?"
I get crickets in return. I yell, " Was it fun? did you have a good time?" Nothing.
I ask, " do any of you speak english? Am I talking to myself?" I got a few giggles.
ASSES.
Its a plain neighborhood.
There are lots of houses with christmas lights still up. Cant these extra volunteers take them down for these people? A sad looking mad was sitting on his porch. The house had boards on his window. Cant they make his boarded up house pretty? Pay HIS mortgage?
There is a tent selling EXTREME HOME MAKEOVER tees. Plain, boring, ugly tees and hats, $20-30 dollars. I ask the oldest if he wants a tee. He scowled at them.
They had bins for the local Food Bank. I took a huge bag of food. I then say.. "wow. looks like no one else brought theirs today." I get dirty looks. HAHA
The houses across the street from this house are trashed. Garbage, the lawns are trash, people camped out all over the place. Im sure it looked like that before but the crowds made it worse.
The house, itself, was awful. Bright Mustard yellow in a sea of beige and white smaller homes. It was a tuscan style two story. Did not match anything. Eye sore.
( yes, so and so, I know that you know the guy that did the plans for the house, but keep with the feel, yo!)
They are cheering for anything. Its hilarious. I know its Tv but its funny to watch. WEEEEEEE!
We get a closer look at a truck thats being unloaded. They had to shoot the scene a few times.
Some meat head thats on the show was pulling a door closed. I tell my niece that the meat head must be someone, and a guy in a $30 tee says, " thats ( enter name here) ", looking at me as if I asked him what a cat looked like. $30 buck tee guy was a guy that was on our bus, that smelled like a male french whore. He got attacked by the cologne monster. (gag)
More giggles.
We move down the way, where we can see a bit.
CVS pharmacy is moving empty boxes in. They are tossing them around between takes.
So we start yelling, while they are filming, " OH MAH GAWD, box carriers rock!!!!!". They had to shoot it 4 times so we were able to yell about our love of box carriers for a while. Only my kids, my niece and I would heckle Extreme Home Make over.
Some women were carrying in ONE PILLOW EACH.
We yelled for the pillow carriers. Then the Garbage Can movers. Add in the Cart Pushers and a guy with 10 ft of pipe.
A guy from HS saw me, said Hi. We exchanged pleasant banter. He asked if Id been there, to watch, before. I said No. He said," we have been here every day, two times a day some days. " My face gave it away that I thought he was a goon. I couldnt help it. He was lucky that his kids were really cute.
We finally had exhausted ourselves. Mocking is hard work.
If people got that into Fresno and people, everyday, like they did for a week of Extreme Home Makeover, this city would be awesome.Im going to do my part. I will buy a bull dozer and demolish my neighbors houses. Its up to them to clean up.
No really, Ill give a little more time, brain power and money to causes that can help our community.
Then Ill buy the bulldozer.
