I found out today that my ex and his new fiancee are pregnant, and that makes me sad. I want a baby so bad, especially after losing my son to sids. They can't even grow up and they are having a baby. It's not fair. I'm twice the parent they are and they are getting the baby. I hate to say this, but I hope they miscarry so that baby doesn't have to be brought in the world with them as parents.
I also want to be in a relationship so bad. I wanna be loved and cared for. I wanna wake up next to someone every morning and tell them how much I love them. I want to share my life with someone, to have babies with, and to grow old with. Someday I suppose. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what falls into my lap.