the wise man's blog: "evil and its presence"

just fucking kill me now, im tired im sick, the girl i fell for the hardest, said herself that she thinks i am discusting, and that she had never loved me....yet for some odd reason i get haunted by her name i wanted to forget i wanted to be happy again but now i am reduced to tears....somthing is fucking with my head, the only good its doing is the favor that society may not have to see me again, its either going to kill me some how, or drive me completly insane, and institutionalized, locked away in my own little play pin never to be seen from nor heard from ever again, i loved her with my heart and my soul, and nothing would ever change that...at a loss of words i sit with tear drops trickling down my face, the warmth of my tears are some what comforting considering im the only one in the room, they are the only things keeping me company. even then they too soon leave me.......i wipe them away....and am completly alone....

this is exciting i just cant wait, my sun was out and now its raining, not in a litteral sence but still, i dont know why i dont know how but somthing brought me down, somthing had brought me to a stop, a long pause for my well being, my happy is being drained............

one chance and only one, thats how typical i have it the one day some one of importants comes to visit looking for a good time ends up pissed while i sit all alone once more.....im a dissapoint ment a nothing i cant even get a job at dairy queen im that pathetic and all i can do is say oh well its maddening, none the less i looked like a fool right in front of well i usually dont give names but they are completly dissapointed in me....and its my fault.

i dont understand it i cant figgure it out one minute im fine the next my entire world goes to shitall mostly involving the couple who are obnoxious together particularly becca

he teases and taunts, laughs and jokes, just cause i dont have what i need. i cant find it in stores and i dont have money i guess today i go with out weed for now....

there it was right infont of my face right there, i want it stopped i need it to end but i cant its against my nature, the things i want done to such an evil the noise it causes the pain it brings, makes me want to tear off my face, but that is not the answer, i dont know the answer and all i can do is wait for it to leave for good.....her name is becca.....she leaves messes all over the place and yells at us for not picking it up and yells at us for being slobs me and my best friend suffer because of her, he and i are both too nice to tell her to leave but the squeaker toy wont shut up to listen shes too busy making things about herself and forcing my best friend into submission using sex as her back up, the only thing i hate and cant stand is her....