The Southern Devil The Only King of The's blog: "My Life"

1974 - Present: I was born October 3rd 1974 in the city of Claremont, NH to a mother named Kim Boutwell. Soon after that she got married and had 2 more children (Chrisinta Brunelle & Jared Brunelle). From what I remember we grew up with just about nothing. I started getting into trouble when I was in kindergarden by taking anything I wanted when I wanted it and it escalated to arson & attempted murder at 9 in which I was taken from my mother and placed into a mental hospital for 3 months. I was transferred from there to another place run by Italian Catholic Priests and was there for 3 1/2 yrs in which time I ran away as much as I could cause I didn't want to be so far away from my mother. I got lost and ended up in a metropolis and stole a car off a car lot and tried to get back to my mother at the age of 11. After they finally realized it wasn't a good idea of me being there and the DCYF officer trying to send me to juvinile lock-up called YDC in Manchester NH, they found a place called Spurwink in Farmington NH and decided to transfer me there, further away from my mother because I was still a troubled youth. I commited an armed robbery at the age of 12 right before I transfered. I spent the next 3 yrs in Spurwink in which I started to stop doing all the bad things that got me into trouble and was finally allowed to go to a real high school (Farmington High) to get use to being around regular kids. In February of 1989 after a court appearance to see how my progress was going the courts decided to transfer me back to Newport, NH to be closer to my mother and to be able to go to a regular high school (Newport Senior/Junior High) and I lived at the Orion House for the next year. But I had a relapse cause I wasn't allowed to go visit my mother like I wanted to and spelled out the word Satan on the floor of my bedroom with lighter fluid and lit it on fire. I was taken back to the courts and of course my DCYF officer tried to get me sent to YDC again but the courts had decided that since I was out of my mothers life for the last 7 yrs and realized that all I wanted to be was home that they would send me back home and I still got into a little trouble that I was caught for but no real consequences were given out because I learned the system at such an early age I knew how to play it. The summer of '90 was the first summer that I had gotten to spend an entire summer with freedom and I had my first real girlfriend (Josie Vaine) and I was happy for the first time. My junior year in high school was good with me getting high marks in classes and I had a girlfriend. The summer of '91 I had joined the New Hampshire Conservation Corpse and was testing the waters all around and doing stuff in the wilderness to make the place a better place. My senior year started out good even though I was a little rebellious still but I soon found myself in trouble again for recieving stole property and assault & battery. I went to the courts and this time they weren't playing with me. I was going to be getting sent to YDC for sure this time but I made a plea bargain and decided to be tried as an adult instead (for those who don't know it means I lose my juvenile status and start taking on adult consequences instead) and was sentenced to 90 days in jail at the Sullivan County House of Corrections in Unity, NH. I spent Thanksgiving and Christmas of '91 there and was still doing all my school work and was released at the beginning of January '92. I failed my senior year cause when I got out I found out that my honor status dropped cause all the teachers penalized my grades since my school work had to be mailed to them and was always a week late and I started getting failing grades even though the stuff was A & B grade work. I decided then to get real rebellious and started being more of an asshole and threatened one teacher and ended up kicked out of most of my classes. I failed my senior year and had to take it again. I got my first real summer job working for McDonald's that summer and my mother had moved back to our hometown of Claremont, NH but never told me until the last minute after she had moved. I quit my job after the summer was up and lived in Croydon, NH that whole summer by myself. I moved to Claremont with my mother and enrolled myself into Stevens High School since no one else did cause my mother didn't know if I was even going to attend my senior year again. I needed 2 credits to graduate and I wasn't going to allow myself not to graduate. By October of '92 I was skipping a lot of classes and only attending the ones I needed to graduate but was threatened with expulsion because I missed so much class. I quit school and was told that if I weren't in school that I had to have a job and help out around the house. I couldn't find a job so I went back to the school and tried to get back in but was told I would have to wait till the next quarter started. January of '93 I started back in school with the same classes again (half a year behind everyone) but still did very well by term end with good grades. I got into trouble again but this time I had a good enough lawyer to talk the judge out of giving me jail time cause the pig that arrested me at the time was lying on the stand along with one of the kids I got into trouble with that they cut me a deal cause they wanted to send me to prison. The only thing that helped me stay out of prison was the cop lying and that my attorney told the courts I would be going to Job Corp that summer after I graduated. I was sentenced to 30 days in jail and restitution in which my attorney paid the restitution for me. I was smart enough this time to get it so that the time I had to do in jail was done on the weekends so that it would affect my grades in school like it had done the past senior year. I gradutes high school that June with honors even though I never got to graduate with my class cause the school wanted me out so fast and I had lied and said I was going to Job Corp before the years was over. I spent the next couple weeks going to the school and hanging out in the senior lounge even though I had already graduated cause I was bored at home. I went to Job Corp that August and was there to get my driving license and try to get a degree in business. I rose in ranks to SRA (Student Residential Advisor) in the dorm and was finally someone for people to look up to and rely on but it quickly fell apart a month later when I had been walking down to the chapel where everyone watched television and I got caught smoking pot with a few friends. I went home every other weekend or so to visit with my mother and finally before t eend of September of '93 my mother sent me a letter saying I was no longer allowed to come home anymore (part of the reason was my fault & part was due to her scumbag boyfriend she was with). I decide shortly thereafter that I was not going to be thrown out like trash and once I had enough money I bought a bus ticket to White River Junction and I hitched the rest of the way to Claremont, NH. I went to my moms house and wasn't allowed in unless I was getting my stuff to move it out. I went to the city and tried to get help to find a place to live and they sent me to a shelter. I lived there for about 2 weeks and found myself a job at Holson's Photo album plant and an apartment at the Union Block. I lived there for the next 4 months until I lost my job and was on the verge of getting evicted I went back to my old ways and did the worse thing I could have done to get money and burgarized the music store right downstairs and was trying to sell the stuff I had stolen but was ratted out by someone that was going to buy one of the items. I was released on PR until my court date. I made a plea bargain that I would plead guilty to the crime and was sentenced to 3 months in jail and 3 yrs probation instead of trying to beat it and end up getting 15 yrs in prison. They only gave me the deal because they had lost the witness they had and didn't realize that he had been sitting up at the county jail awaiting trial for something he had done. I did my time and once released I checked in with my probation officer and ended up back at that same shitty homeless shelter for the next month or so until I could find a job and another place to live. I moved to Newport, NH after that and had a son (Justis Alexander) with Heather Pill that Christmas of 1994. After that I had gotten an apartment for my family to live in and worked in a machine shop in Sunapee to support us. After being together for almost 3 yrs we decide to call it quits and I moved to Sunapee, NH right down the road from Steven Tyler of Aerosmiths summer house and worked in a machine shop for a stint. I then got violated on probation for lack of checking in, not reporting I quit my job & not reporting that I had moved. I did 30 days in jail and once upon release I ended back in the homeless shelter again at which time I started seeing a bitch named Tina Hanson and had my daughter Jordan Nicole (born July 7, 1997). I worked at the local steel factory for about 10 months and was trying to get us a home to live in but it all fell apart after I was fired for missing too much time (In which was because I had to leave a lot to check out the status of the home in which the end result was since my cosigner wasn't going to be living there I couldn't have it). We moved from Charlestown, NH back into Claremont, NH in which at the time I was working at the Sunuco Gas station on Washington St. By the end of the summer of '98 we had had a rough time even being around each other that I decided that I was moving to live with my aunt Quinn in Georgia. I bought a cheap ass car that died somewhere in Virginia and lost everthing I had and ended up taking a bus the rest of the way there. Once there I tried and tried to find a job but there was nothing around so in the end my aunt decided to bring me to my Uncle Eric in McDonough, GA to live with him and maybe I could find a job. I worked with my uncle and his friends for a while doing vinyl siding but with all the rain I couldn't afford not working so I got a job at the Bugle Boy Jean Factory in Stockbridge, GA. I went to my first Insane Clown Posse concert in Atlanta, GA with a women that I had met at the bar my uncle and his friends always went to in Stockbridge. Soon after that my uncle moved out of the house that him, me and my aunts ex lived in and I was stuck alone once again. I was told by my aunts ex that I had to move out cause he didn't me there anymore so I moved back with Quinn again and got a job at the Highway Paint factory. That Christmas we went up north to visit my mother for Christmas and I went to see my daughter Jordan and I found out that my ex was living with my brother and an aids infested lesbian. I wasn't going to stand for that so I decided that I was going to move back to be with my daughters mother and my daughter. She kicked out the lesbian but my brother was still there. We never got along which was a hard thing to deal with but I coped. We spent the next year or so together after my brother finally moved out to be with his boyfriend and I worked at a few different places but finally settled in at the APC paper factory. By the summer of '01 I had had enough of her self pity and loathing not to mention her family not liking me and making our lives a living hell. I decided to move back to Georgia to live with my aunt in LaGrange, GA and I got a job with her at the Carter Factory in Hogansville, GA. I started on Sept. 11, 2001 and stayed there until weekend of July 4th, 2002 when I decided to take my vacation and moved from there to Tennessee so I could live close to the only true friend I have had since I was 15 years old. By October 2002 I was working at 2 jobs (Wendy's & Rustlers) and trying to save money to get my own place. But it all failed at first cause I had a breakdown which landed me in a mental hospital for 3 days and the loss of my job. I was released and started working at a pallet making factory but was fired soon after cause the boss yelled at me for a thing that happened and wasn't my fault and I threatened to kick the supervisors ass if her did it again. I started seeing a women (Shirley Ann Shelburne) in November of '02 and applied for an apartment in her complex but was put on a waiting list till January '03. So I lived with her for a few weeks till my apartment was available. I got my apartment and lived there from January '03 til November '05 when I got a ticket for loud music in the middle of the day and was getting evicted for that offence. I decided I was going to move back up to New Hampshire and this time I stayed with my sister (Chrisinta Brunelle). My daughter's mother had a restraining order on me cause the guy she was with while I was in Tennessee told me on the phone that I wasn't allowed to talk to my daughter when I tried to call to talk to her and I had threatened to kick the shit out of him if and whenever I got back to that state. But by the time I moved back there he had left the scene after throwing his own son down on the ground just for crying and being wanted by the law. I tried to lay low so she didn't know I was around but she had lived across the street from my sister and they had finally seen me leaving to go to the store with my sister and she was allowing me to come over and see my daughter even though there was a restraining order. By January '04 she had finally gotten the restraining order dropped cause I was tired of worrying about getting caught and ending in jail. Then I moved from my sisters over to her apartment. We decided that we needed a bigger place to live so we moved to an apartment ran by the same place out in North Walpole, NH. By the summer of '06 she had started cheating with a lesbian co-worker and trying to keep it hush hush. She would always come home bitching and not paying any attention to her son and saying I wasn't doing anything to help even though I paid my share of the bills, took care of a child that didn't even belong to me so she wouldn't have to pay a baby sitter and I took care of the apartment. So by the summer of '06 I moved back to Tennessee and got my own apartment and stayed there for the summer in which time I was talking to my ex from high school in Farmington, NH. She wasn't able to move down to Tennessee cause her daughter's father was still around so instead by the beginning of September '06 I moved to Milton, New Hampshire to be with her. For the first time in a very long time I had found happiness and never thought it would soon be ruined shortly after. December '06 I got a call telling me that my mother had fallen and broken her ankle so we drove up to Randolph, VT to visit my mother in the hospital. I was told that she was undergoing some tests to make sure her heart could handle the surgery that she needed to fix her ankle and she would know the next day. I called my mother at the hospital the next day and she said that she would be getting out of the hospital the week after Christmas so we were going to go and visit her when she got out. The day after that I had gotten a call from my sister saying that my mother had had a heart attack and was getting transfered to Burlington, VT (an hour or so away from where she was) cause the Dartmouth Hitchcock hospital wouldn't take her. We drove all the way up to Burlington, VT from Milton, NH (4 hr drive) to see my mother but by the time I had gotten there she had had at least one more heart attack and went into a coma. The hospital said that she would be observed overnight and would keep me informed on her condition. We drove all the way back to Milton that night and I waited till the next day to call. But before I could even call them my sister had called me crying telling me that we were going to have to get up to the hospital cause mom had gotten worse and that we were going to have to decide whether or not to take her off the machines. I called my girlfriend at that time and  told her she had to get her ass home and get me back up to Burlington, VT and that what Ihad gathered from the conversation with my sister that my mother was dead. She came home and realized how fucked up I was because of the news that she drove as fast as she could to get me there to see my mother. By the time I had gotten there it seems that everybody in my family thought that my sister was going to be in charge of everything even though they never asked me my opinion. We went in to see my mother and I was crushed to find out that she had had another heart attack that disconnected her brain from her spine and I was never told this until now, even after I told them they needed to contact me at home if her condition changed no matter what. We talked with the doctor and he had explained what had happened and that we were going to have to decide whether or not to keep my mother on life support even though she was technically brain dead. I was thinking too much and was hoping there was a way to give up my brain just so that she could have her life back but was told that that was not possible. I was getting so close to the suicidal point at this time cause I was losing the only person in my life that cared about me no matter what fucked up things I did wrong in life and I am sure some of the family realized it. I know my sister did cause she told me not to do anything stupid. We had decided to remove my mother from life support cause we knew that she didn't want to be on machines and have all those tubes in her in the end. I sat there holding my mothers hand as she was removed and slowly stopped having a pulse. I stared into her face trying my best to hold back the tears even when I started seeing tears come from her eyes. To this day I truly believe she knew I was there holding her hand in the end. I stayed in the room with my mother long after everyone else left the room and had to tell her that I loved her cause it had been so many years since I had said it to her. I went down to the car after everyone left the hospital (except Chris & Woody) but I did come back to go and see my mother again for a little while and I just about died seeing her laying there dead. I was crying my eyes out so much that my girlfriend at the time was trying to comfort me but I wasn't able to handle it. After I tried to pull myself together I left the room and was about to go home but remembered my mothers animals. I asked if Woody wanted me to take the cats and I went to their home to get them. I told my sister I wanted to have moms remains after she was cremated but they had all decided that Woody should have them so I tried getting it so that I could have a little bit to put in a keychain pillbottle I bought specifically for that but my sister refused to get me some and gave the entire urn to Woody. I told him I wanted some but instead he let me see the urn and then a week later he had threatened me that if I came on the property he would have me arrested. It had gotten so bad that I had to trust the scumbag to bring all my mothers stuff to my sisters and that is where we would split everything up, but after I had told my sister what I had wanted, her and Woody went behind my back and he gave her the one thing I wanted most. It was a very hard and trying time to go back and forth every 2 weeks to my sisters to get things. The week after my mothers death we had a family get together for my mother since we weren't having a funeral since she was cremated and that afternoon me and my sister fought over some stuff that was my mothers. I know now it was a stupid thing to do but I wasn't going to let anyone take advantage of the situation cause I was already pushed out of all the decisions already up to that point. To this day I can never forgive any of my family that was there that made the decisions without asking me first for my opinion. The following 2 yrs were hell for me and my girlfriend at the time cause I had never gotten over my mothers death and still haven't. I started going to concerts as much as I could afford in '07 and that was putting some happiness into my life that I was missing from not being able to call my mom and talk to her but it was hardest around her birthday and Christmas. We moved to Somersworth, NH in January '07 and lived there till January '09 together and everything started getting worse and worse. I started promoting underground music and setting up concerts to keep my mind off my mother but that was a very hard thing to do. I tried and tried to make everything work but it seems everything I did wasn't good enough for anyone. I started making friends with a lot of musicians and going to their shows and not having to pay a dime to see them except gas to get to and from. I started to be happy again despite my loss. But I never realized that my girlfriend was trying to see people behind my back and would try her best to lie when she was caught. By my birthday of '08 was the last straw that broke the camels back when the bitch didn't even wish me a happy birthday or do anything like we had done the past 2 yrs. I had finally just said fuck that cheating lying whore that I gave up on the relationship. We tolerated each other for the next 3 months till our lease was up and I had decided to move back to where I am now. It has been a little bit rough up till now with the fact that I had made some friends on the internet that had promised things but lied about them and the fact that I have been diagnosed with diabetes and was almost blind for a couple weeks. But all in all I am starting to tolerate just being alive and am looking forward to February when I move again, hopefully for the last time.