Every Rose Has Its Thorn....yeah it does
Five years ago I was engaged to a wonderful man that I had loved since I was eighteen years old. We had been lovers when I was eighteen, but it didn't work out. Neither he nor I ever ever forgot our love for each other. We became involved again six years ago. That is when he asked me to marry him. Because of certain circumstances and our situation at the time, I didn't follow through with the marriage. Instead I returned to my previous ex-boyfriend at the time. I won't say that it has been all peaches and cream, but we have gotten along pretty well. But ever since, I have never been able to get my ex-fiance out of my mind, nor has he ever 'forgot' about me.
Because he proposed to me on Valentine's Day, it has become a day that I haven't looked forward to since 2002. I have never been able to get the promise I made out of my mind and the fact that I broke another person's heart. I also have put myself down for breaking a promise. Although, at the time I was making the decision not to get married, everyone was advising me to do what makes me happy. Which is not bad advice, because you are truly the only person that you can make happy. A lot of the decisions I made at the time were based on this advice and the fact that my previous ex - boyfriend (now current) had promised me a lot of things. I also was in love with him, so it wasn't just about all material things. Contrary to what other people have thought about that situation.
As this past Valentine's Day approached and left, I had him on my mind a lot. I was thinking that just as in the past four years, he was probably thinking of us and what could have been. After all, I was. Each year that has gone by I have regretted getting engaged on such a commercialized holiday. After all, sometimes when some things happen on a certain date, that date can come and go unnoticed. But it is never going to happen when something happens like that on such a publicized and commercialized holiday.
Well, it turns out that I recently found out that he wasn't missing me so much after all. He has been seeing an ex girlfriend of his from high school for a while. Now this broke my heart, but at the same time, I realized that what had happened between us was my fault. I also expected that he would move on. Of course, I also expected that he would notify me when he did move on, because I still have lot of personal belongings at his house. Some of my friends have diagnosed this as my way of not moving on and keeping a piece of me there so it wouldn't be possible for me to move on. I agree, I'm guilty. However, I always thought that he would want to get my 'stuff' out of his house before he brought another woman in the house.
Not so. This then angered me. Shouldn't women get smarter about men and their relationships? Shouldn't women start getting wiser to men and their antics? I mean it's amazing how many wives out there are being cheated on by their husbands and they don't have a clue about it. Now when you start a new relationship, shouldn't a person expect that the exes personal belongings get gone before they start moving in? This is what angered me. That he didn't have the willpower to call me up and she hasn't had the good sense to ask what all the women's clothes are doing hanging in his closet. As well as the fact that there are 'personal' items tucked away in certain areas of the house. Ok, but keep in mind, she doesn't live there, she just comes over on weekends since he is trying this long distance relationship. But still, I can't help but wonder does she wonder whose dress that is hanging in the closet when she hangs hers up beside it and doesn't she wonder why it's still there. ?
