Ever notice what is going on in your life, whether good or bad seems like it will last forever? My best friend of almost 20 years passed quikly in life he was only 43, I was both a shock and a loss in my life that has never been filled back in. A few years later i met a weird campy lovable lady that I dated for a while. We didnt work well as a couple and i lay that blame on me, but we stayed in contact and she had become my best friend not to replace the first but on her own merrit . We laughed and joked ranted and cried and were just there for each other. She was there for me at my lowest points in life. Oct of 2013 she ended up having to have surgery to correct an illness.
Even though her mortal coil was there she was not the same person, she had become very bitter in life and people around her including me. I did what i thought I needed to and tried to latch on tighter and it seemed to only make it worse. I became the target for everything wrong in her life and i was insulted more times than not. I held on for over a year and finally made the decision to be done as much as it hurt me to do so. I did the total taboo and lied to her and made her believe something that is not true but it made her angry enough to just stop dealing with me , like she has so many others. Yes what I said to her is very hurtful but it hurt me to do the same. The friendship we had will never be had again i know this and learning to live with it. I am 99.9% sure i never even cross her mind and this is just as well also. As hard as it was to lose my first best friend it is harder with the second. When the first passed away he was gone from this earth. The second has her mind and body here but her personality (atleast towards me) is gone forever. I wish her the best in life as my life now is doing really well but i wont forget the past the laughing the crying and the fighting for life together.