often enough my friends and family will ask or say that i am emotionaly disturbed. well i am going to tell you why. I am a 24 year old mother of 3, and what do i have to show for it. I dont have a family just 3 kids i am struggling to support and take care of. My husband left me along with just about everyother guy i meet and date, and if they dont just leave some how or another i push them away. I dont mean to push them away it just happens. I feel lonely alot, the few friends i had i stupily alienated cuz of my husband. I find it hard to make new friends cuz i have no way around except my own 2 feet. It is impossible to meet new people when you cant even pay rent. I think maybe i found someone and now i am afraid i am pushing him too hard. i dont mean to it just happens. I am starving for attention so bad i dont know what to do. I just want some people who actually care about me too and i dont just mean in a relationship way. I need friendship, love, support and a good job. I am tired of being knowcked down by luck and people. I am tired of being depressed and lonely. Some of you reading this if anyone does might think i am crazy. I dont think i am crazy, i think maybe my bad choices have made feel this way. If i would have made better desicions in the past all the bad people that have been in my life wouldnt have been able to fuck with my head so bad. I am going to close this blog with one question, Why do we have emotions, why are they so hard to handle?
