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Emotional Torture

Sometimes wathing a TV show can enlighten you on some thoughts you have never had, but that is if you allow you mind to reach beyond the show you are watching. See tonight i was watching Criminal Minds and one of the stories within the story delt with a woman who was emotionally abused by her husband and children. Well this got me to thinking deeper as i always seem to do without tring. So here we go along the lines of emotional abuse. A subject some wish to avoid, but in this instance its more of a topic to help you enlighten yourself as it has enlightened myself some. A self realisation not so much in how i abuse but how i might be abused and how it might effect me. See we tend to forget that emotional abuse can happen at any age. For emotions are probably the least developed part of the human pyschi .. Or so i believe. Let me break it down some. First as children we learn everything, what hot is, cold, no, yes, moral rights and wrongs and so on. Well we tend to not be taught outright what emotions are and how to deal with and interpret them. See when we are babies we touch a hot stove, or try to we are told no its hot. Well this makes sence to use, untill at some point in our lives we are burned. Then the words become a reality a physical one. Where as with emotions we are told i love you, or your being bad. But there is no physical to reflect those words. So we even at older ages, in our adult life are still learning and tring to find those physical representations of such things we are not looking consiously but sub conciously. So emotional torture has to be thought of in a another light since it can happen at any stage of life, the abuse associated with it can come from anyone at anytime. But the torture comes from a source many of us do not see or recognize. It is hidden probably the most well hidden thing in all our lifes. See i was abused in some sence growing up as most people are, some are abused in greater depths but to show how i see emotional torture i will use myself and the mild abuse i received that most of us do at some point growing up. I was abused based off looks and appearance. See i lived on a small poor farm, so i had to wear hand me downs and second hand cloths which is now the in thing with kids, go figure i was brought up to early lol. But i was made fun of daily for my look, as well as my glasses, and bad hair cut. This small abuses became a torture not by those who dished it out, but by myself. See no matter our age, we torture our selfs based off past and present emotional based critisims of ourselfs by others. We try to shun it off, but like anything done in repetition it becomes more of a reality in our minds. So we tend to torture ourselfs by replaying what was said, or tring to overcome that one individuals or group of individuals concerns and statment about who we are to them. Those people are shallow and have deeper torture going on, to attack others in a way to make themselfs feel better. But deep down we torture ourselfs the most when we have had bad physical things layed on us at young or even adult ages. We ponder over them tring to understand what we did to influence such a reaction by another, or what we said to encourage them to hurt us. But when we do this we torture ourselfs more then they could have even hurt us. Emotional torture is probably one of the hardest things to overcome in anyones life. We want to be liked by all we meet, when this is a impossibility. One we all know all to well, but deep down we think they see us, as those who abused us, so we try to influence their perception by toruturing ourselfs to a point of almost cataclismic proportions. We lash out at those who we find nice, or caring. We tend to tell them what others have told us, those others im refering to are the abusers. We allow those abusers to shape our lifes, and shape our thoughts. To a point where we torture ourselfs by lashing out at those closest to us. We then do not relise the added torture we place on ourselfs as we do such things. The personal Emotional torture we put on ourselfs, is such a great amount of abuse, we begin to tell ourselfs and others we are not a good person. And it is best if we are left alone. When in the real world being left alone, normally is not a good thing. Because by locking ourselfs off from others we are letting the personal torture grow and win, and we are also limiting ourselfs to contact that may help us to overcome those past or present emotional attacks others put on us. So remember that contact verbally as well as physically with others can reshape the emotional torture you put upon yourself. Because with the physical reinforcement of how another sees or feels about you, will only reinforce the good they see and perseave about you. And we all know bad actions, and bad words can be overcome by devotion to good words and works. A small amount of joy weighs more then a great amount of pain. Compare it like this. A death of a friend or family memeber can tear at you for days, but one small birth of a child, that first cry bring more joy into a persons life and existance then the days of pain felt for losing a loved one. Be strong with companionship and friendship, and the emotional torture you produce will dwindle while the abuse will be righted and become a memory to guide others by.
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