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Alan's blog: "Alan's Poetry"

created on 03/20/2007  |  http://fubar.com/alan-s-poetry/b66364

Emotional Havoc

I don't fear tomorrow, Knowing it's yesterday's future. Today is before us only begging for acceptance, Without a crime I was convicted to a life of emotional havoc. There were always apologies... the promises, the tears, I learned to mistrust simple penitence, What meaning does it actually have? Silently I screamed for someone, Serving my life sentence, this one held without parole, I don't want to do my time without you! Running, but never reaching what I can not see, Carrying within me a flaming heart. Where have my tears fallen? I'm a prisoner to my own inner child. I wish I wasn't afraid, Of those harsh words, and hidden secrets no one knows, No one's special, nobody's gifted. I'm always sleeping awake, choking on my dreams, Waking in fear of something I'll never be. My eyes are open, hands are clenched, Deep inside I'm aching from unrelentless doubt. Each incident, each moment passed, just adds upon the next, My mind used to race with madness, it had to be me! What was I doing? Or was it... What I was not doing? I slowly drain with encircling thoughts, Longing to escape, somehow it destroyed my love. Hidden from the truth, I long to help you understand, The memory comes to me now and again, I'm trying for you.
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