Well, now that I am ready to talk about it to everyone. I just figured it would be easer to just do it this way so I wouldnt have to keep repeating myself. so...here we go...
I had been seeing this guy named Brian. Brian, is Amanda Pennington's ex and her baby daddy. I dont know if you know eather one of them but anyways...
Amanda and I have known each other since we were in 8th grade. We were the best of friends. She lived with her aunt and uncle. Her and I got in some trouble so she was made to move back in with her parents in 10th grade. We tryed to stay in contact but didnt really talk to each other often. She started dating this guy named Brian. When I was in 12th grade she they had a daughter. Her name is Savannah. Amanda asked me to be her god mother even though we didnt talk to each other often. I was so proud!! Savannah is beautiful!! Well, they didnt really work out well because they just kept fighting and Amanda didnt seem to really want to be pinned down. Brian has 2 other kids and Amanda seemed to resent them. She didnt want to work but, she didnt want to help take care of his other kids eather. So they were on again off again for years.
well, not untill this past year did I really care about him. I mean dont get me wrong, we were friends but it wasnt like I wanted him or anything. Him and I started talking here and there, then we started talking more and more. At that point in my life I needed someone to talk to and he was there. well, he started asking me to come over all the time and I really didnt want to. I didnt feel comfterable with that so I would come up with excusses. One time I asked my friend sara to call me after I was there for a half an hour and tell me something to make it so I could come home. I tryed not to get with him. But as we started to hang out more I started to get atached. sometimes you just cant help who you fall for, you know? I was in a bad situation because I wasnt able to pay my rent by myself. Brian asked me for a long time to move in with him and I just couldnt get myself to commet to him. He told me that I wouldnt have to pay any rent if I lived with him and that I would be able to go back to school. After alot of thought I decited to go through with it. I felt really comfterable with him and my decision to move forword.
He invited me on vacation with him and I had a blast. We drove 13 hours to Savannah, Georgia. It was so beautiful!! Brian really wants to move there and we were really thinking about it in due time.
But anyways the whole time Brian and I were together Amanda made my life a living hell!! She did everything in her power to make me miserable. She is a filthy Bitch!! anyways, Like a month or so before Brian and I broke up he started acting differant. He couldnt keep a job. (and I thought that was why he was acting so wierd) But he started definding amanda when I would get mad at her. Then he started being nicer to her on the phone. Then he started going over there more. He would tell me that it was because savannah was sick. I would get all mad because savannah was always "sick". The last two weeks before we broke up he was over there non stop.
well, that friday him and I had a talk and I got mad. so I called Jen and asked her to go to the bar with me for a little bit because I needed to get out. I got in my car and saw that my check engen light was on so I tryed to beep Brian. He had called someone as soon as I had left! I was kinda confused by it but I just thought that maybe I dont now someone had called him or something. so I get to the bar (mind you amanda lived in the same apt as we did) that was right down the street and we were standing outside smoking a cig when amanda pulls up!! so we went inside. amanda came in but didnt stay long.
we stayed for like an hour and a half. Then we decited we would just call it quits. So, we left. Jen went home and so did I. So I pull up at home and Brian wasnt anywhere to be found. He wasnt there! I tryed to call him but he wouldnt awnser!! So, I just decited fuck it and went back to the bar by myself. so, when I got there I noticed Brian's car was there. I went inside and looked everywhere for him! he wasn't there anywhere. I stayed untill they closed. His car was there but he wasnt. I went home and stayed up untill 5:30 am and went to bed. When I got up at 8:30 am he was there. In the living room on the computer. I couldnt beinve it!! He looked well rested. Like he had a good night. I asked him where he had been and he said his buddy had called and that he met him at Lucky's and that he had went with him to his house and then fell asleep in his car...
**right...**
but anyways, I was like ok. well I have no reason not to belive him so I was mad but just didnt let it get to me.
so, I had talked to jen that day and I had told her what had happened after she left. Brian told me he was going out the next night with his friend Jason. I asked Jen if she thought Brian was going out with amanda. she said amanda and Lizzy and her boyfriend Jason was going bowling and that she didnt think he was going with them.
So, the day went on and Brian watched the game. He kept getting phone calls and I knew who it was because I was sitting right next to him and I could here who it was but I couldnt hear everything that was being said.
The game ended and he jumped up and said "well, my buddy Jason keeps calling and he is ready to go. so I have to hurry up and get ready!!" I was like, um, ok. Knowing that it was amanda that had called. so he leaves.
jen called me and asked me if I would wanna get out of the house because of everything that had been going on. At first I didnt want to. But because of everything that had been going on I decited that I needed to get out and not let it get to me.
We went to the first bar and wasnt there long. Right before we left This old guy comes in and startes giving out flowers to all the girls. I didnt quite know what to do. He started to leave and I went up to him and told him that I was very thankfull!! that he had no idea but I was haveing a REALLY bad week. and that meant the world to me. I started to cry infront of this olg guy who was just being nice and giving the girls flowers. He had no idea what was going on in my life at that time and he made my day! we went to a couple of more bars and decited to call it quits. (mainly because it was after 2 am)
I went home and Brian still wasnt there. Brit (his daughter had a friend staying the night so I stayed up for a little while and hung out wiht them. I finally went to bed at 3:30 am and he still wasnt home. when I got up at 8:00 am he was there. Just like the day before he looked well rested. at that point I was getting really mad!!
I asked him where he went and he said " I went bowling with Jason and then we went to Anna Molly's. I saw Amanda there but we didnt stay long because it was kinda borring. Then we went to Jason's house and played card's"
**Kinda funny because Jen had said that Lizzy and Amanda were going bowling... I didnt say anything to him because I didnt want it to be true.**
I called Jen to see what she was doing and she said she was going shopping with another friend of hers. (by the way Jen is Brian's sister) She asked me if I wanted to go. To get away from everything. Of course I said "YES!" She came and got me and I told her what he said he did. She called Lizzy (because Lizzy is Amanda's sister, and at the time Jen's best friend) and asked her if Brian went out with them the night before. She said he had and that she didnt know he was coming untill Amanda had told her. Jen asked her if she knew anything that was going on between Brain and Amanda. Liz said "why are you putting me in this perdicament?" Jen said "well, I aready know just by you saying that!" (mind you I was in the car, siting right there listning to everything when this is all going on) Finally Lizzy basicly said that something was going on but she didnt know how far it had gone. That Amanda hasnt told her yet.
**I was so heart broken!! I was shaking, and about to be in tears. I didnt know what to do. I didnt want it to be true**.
We called Brian and Jen's mom and told her what was going on. She said for us not to jusp to concusions. So, we went on and looked around the mall. I was kind of in a daze. After we went shopping Jen droped her friend off at her house and we went back to mine and Brian's house. He was there and seemed like he was trying to act like nothing had happened. There was alot of tension is there you could have cut it with a knife.
Sunday night we were laying there about to go to bed and he said "you probably hate me dont you?" I just looked at him and said "no". Monday morning I was off work and I didnt really sleep much the night before. Kinda just had been thinking about everything that had been going on. At 6:30 am I roled over and said "so, whats going on??!!??" he said "well, Tonda I think we are breaking up..." i was like "WELL! YEAH!!" I just couldnt belive he had been so rude about it. It was if he had no remorse. I knew he was going to be getting up soon to get ready for work soon and there was no way I was going to be able to sleep so I got ready and left. I left the house at 6:40am and had no idea where I was going to go.
Later that day I came home and things were tense but not really any fighting. I had no clue where I was going to move to because I had just bought a car and I had no clue how I was going to pay for my car and rent and everything else. (It seems to be working out so far) Brian and I had a joint bank acount, I was going to just cut my losses and take my name off of it and let him have it. But before I could even say anything he said that he would take his name off and whatever was in there I could have to help me move with. It wasnt like there was a whole lot but still! the week went on and things started getting a little worse. Right before I moved Friday, on Thursday I went and with drew $300. because I had just payed my car payment and garage payment and it hadnt cleared. I knew he was going to take some money out of it even though he said I could have it. I knew if I didnt get the money out of there for the car payment and the garage then he was going to take it. I beat myself up over it now because I wish I had with drew more than that. He went the next morning and with drew everything out of the acount but $40. He left me $40 to move!! That is it!! So, I went and closed the acount!!
Jen had asked me if I wanted to get an apt together because she was living at home with her parents and she wanted out. I agreed! I knew there wsa no way I was going to be able to pay everything on my own. On top of that her and I get along really well. So we found an apt and Jen and Brian's mom let us put the deposit and first month's rent on her credit card. Every time I think about how much they have helped me I start to tear up. My parents try as much as they can to help me out when I am in situations like this but they have 3 young kids that they are still raising and it isnt just that easy for them to help me. Jen and her parents have helped me so much. I cant thank them enough! Not only did they help me have somewhere to live they helped me move my stuff. They put food kitchen too. (my parents did too but still...) This has been a really UN Happy holidays!!!
Not only has that all been going on, Brian and I and his daughter Brit have cell phones in my name. When we got them he promissed me that if anything (like what is going on) that he would take care of the disconnect fees. He was supposed to sell his phones on e-bay and give me the money to pay the disconnect fee. It is $200 each phone. I am keeping my phone so he only needed $400. Even if I was to disconnect my phone I wouldnt have him pay for it. That wasnt the deal. He was to pay for his and Brits. If I knew it was going to be a problem I wouldnt have put myself in a situation like this. He is refusing to pay because I told him that I could suspend the phones for $5.99 a month. Which is true. But it is $5.99 per line per month for only 6 months. After that both phones will be back to normal and well be able to make calls like normal. I shouldnt have to pay the $5.99 a month anyways!! This is something he promissed to take care of and he isnt man enough to even do that. he cracks me up I swear!!
He has been sleeping with Amanda and slept with his daughters best friends mom!! He had been telling her what has been going on with him and me, his life, and amanda and him. Which is funny because she has told me alot about with is going on. He actully had the nerve to tell her that I was the first to say "I love you" and that he just told me that he did because he didnt want to hurt my feelings. are you kidding me!!! He was the first to say it because I dont care who you are I am really skiddish toward the opposit sex and i wont tell anyone I love them first!! No matter what. I guess it is because I dont want to be imbarassed or shot down. I dont know. He also has been going around telling people that I was the one making all the first moves and that he wasnt really interested!! WTF!!! I kept blowing him off!! I think he is just trying to look cool or something. I think he doesnt want to look like a looser!! I think that he is embarrased that I had my friend call me and tell me that her aunt was in an car crash and that she needed me to watch her baby. lol
**I dont know. why is it that you can love someone that has put you through so much. and hate them with every inch of your body too?**
But I am sure this isnt the end of everything. I will try and keep you all posted. Thanks for being there for me. I dont know what I would have done with out you all. I love you!! Tonda
P.S I have every last e-mail Amanda sent me when I was with Brian. Her cussing me out and so forth. I also have a recent one that she sent me the other day. I have some e-mails Brian has sent me too. If you have some kind of dought in my blog or if you are just nosey. I can forword them to you. Just let me know.
