Crimson Trauma's blog: "Crimson"

Sexuality

I had always been the strange child on the outside of the group sitting alone. Everything in life seemed so trivial to me that it wasn't worth speaking to my peers about anything. When most boys my age (around 13 or 14) were starting to think about sex and things of that nature i had no drive whatsoever to even think of a woman in that nature. My parents figured i was just late to start puberty but they couldn't have been further from the truth on that one.

I waited till i was 20 to actually have sex and it wasn't really even by choice that i did it just kinda happened one day, and instantly after-words i felt my mind begin to decay like i was dying it felt horrible. I got really depressed after-words and didn't talk for awhile just kinda laying there confused as to why my friends loved this act so damn much. I stayed with this girl for almost two years and actually managed to have a child with her before ending the relationship on a sour note.

I joined the Marines to re arrange my life and try to recover from all my past mistakes and regrets. Also figuring that a bunch of male energy and testosterone might snap me back t a normal mindset. I did in fact come out of the marines as a changed man but not the change anyone had expected. Instantly after coming out i moved in with Autumn and we begin discussing the possibilities of me getting a sex change cause clearly the whole male thing wasn't working out too well. This relationship was going greatly and actually is a large part of the reason i am who i am today. She brought my mind to a new level and drove a lot of my kinky parts out into the open a lot more. Never having sex with autumn and just having a lot of play time was great for awhile but it wasn't too long before we determined that without me getting the sex change she couldn't continue because she felt as tho she wasn't into it as much as she should be and that she really only liked girls.

This is when i went back to my former life on the internet and re found Miss Alice Skary who i had talked to years before any of this had happened and stayed in brief contact with this whole time. We had never really talked about fetishes or sexual tendencies until this time when i hooked up with a now ex-g/f who was a little bit violent and deranged to say the least. She has asked not to be named in this so i shall respect her on that as a former domme in my life.We lasted for awhile without sex just playing until she begin getting urges for sexual pleasure. It had been awhile by this point so i figured why not maybe i wont have the same reactions maybe it was something to do with the last girl i mean i was only at two at age 23. So we had sex a few times and my mind wasn't as bad as it had been before but still kinda out there for awhile.At this point in my life i was completely submissive which she decided to use to better her own life by whoring me out to her friends in order to pay her rent money. I was so disgusted at this time in sex in general i begin getting really depressed and physically ill with just the thought and began puking every-time i had an orgasm. SHe continued to use me to pay her bills. I bought some new toys for our personnel life made by the Lovely MIss Alice SKary,which we used a lot for awhile along with other hardcore abusive tactics causing dislocations of my arms and some small bloodshed (needless to say it was hot) but my mind finally decayed to much once she tried to switch on me and go sub.MY mind broke down and couldn't comprehend that she would go into a submissive role after everything we had done or discussed so we ended that relationship.

Once i got the new whip from Miss Alice we began talking a lot more about fetishes as she kinda watched from the side the relationship i had when i ordered it and we began talking about doing a 24/7 Master/slave relationship we talked for a few months before actually setting in on a date and i got on a bus to go and serve Miss Alice full time.Everything was great and the relationship was going good.taking pictures for the website talking in detail about limits and trying to overcome them but her life was too chaotic and i missed my house being on the road as much as we were at the time made me miss one of my friends too much so about 2 months into it i had to pack up and go try to talk things over with her.

This relationship was a mistake from day one two subs hooking up one with hideous emotional issues towards sex and the other a depraved Nymph with nothing better to do in her life but have sex.Although i was told many times this wouldn't work out i had to try anyways we had too many things that we had in common and too much love for one another to let it slip away without a thought.It lasted a few months then fell apart quickly because of sexual things and too much tension of being two subs we never got anything done.Lesson Learned.

I begged Miss Alice to take me back which fortunately she did a few months later and we have been off and on 24/7 ever since only currently taking a break so i can re stabilize my life and get my debt settled off so i can serve her better and with less stress in the near future. We talk as much as we can and also travel a lot to get sets done for both my site and her site at Skary LandI love her very much and am completely happy and content with how we live our lives and even the masses of Anal luvins that she gives me when we are together. I am entirely convinced that i have never been happier then when she is around me and that once my debt is gone that we will be together a lot more often and doing tons of deviant photo-shoots and videos for you all to enjoy