Drkdestiny's Thoughts Blog by Drkdestiny
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So another week has come and gone. Thank God. Although tomarrow starts a new one it has been a fairly quiet weekend. Nothing major happened, laundry, housecleaning the usual. Next weekend will be my first FULL WEEKEND OFF in 6 months. Plans have been made and I will be going to my little sisters for the weekend. I cant wait. It rained here today whic in itself is a good thing. The crops were starting to look a bit haggerd and droopy. The farmers I am sure are happy with the little bit we did have. Hung out on the puter most of my time this weekend. Since everything was done figured i would catch up on here and some other places I hang out. So that about does for me .....Hope everyone has a wonderful week. Don't work too hard. See ya all this coming up weekend. Buh Bye
PLEASE............AND THANK YOU :D
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Welcome to my blog. i am not sure where tostart. I guess with the days happenins...lol ok here ya go.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... What a fun filled day today was huh? Nothing happened that is even news or should I say Blogworthy. It was my ONLY day off this week so that's always a nice factor. I played on the internet most of the day after making sure my "chores" were done. My day will start at 5am EST tomarrow. I wont be on alot during the week but will try to "pop" in to check on things. I love my job its my 1st priority in my life. Bet ya haven't heard too many people say that about their jobs. If your wondering " well Renne what is that you do?".....I am a stripper...haaa haaaaaa...No really. I am a Home Health Care Provider. I go into peoples homes and assist them with their daily needs( baths, housekeeping,meal preperation, run errands and take them to Dr.s appointments) stuff like that. I travel to Clyde and Bellevue ohio on a daily basis. My job is demanding but yet VERY REWARDING.
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Brookanne, 15, the darling of a Texas family that includes three older brothers, was just beginning to enjoy her sophomore year in high school when she learned her life was about to change. She was pregnant. "I actually knew the moment it happened. The next day I was nervous thinking about, oh, how am I going to tell my mom?" Brookanne said. "It was a big shock for me." Many miles away, 18-year-old Erin had just received a financial scholarship for college and was happily anticipating this next milestone when she too discovered she was pregnant. All her plans for her future were dashed. "I denied it for a little while," said Erin, "And then when I kind of got up the guts, I told mom, 'You might want to sit down.' And I told her [I was pregnant] and she said 'Oh, God.' She was floored." Decades ago, a hidden population of pregnant girls carried a secret so shameful that their families sent them into exile, far from the whispered suspicions at home. Generations of parents, fearful of the social taboo of illegitimacy, concealed their unwed daughters' pregnancies and sent them to maternity houses across the country to give birth among strangers. Most of these new mothers would never know anything about what happened to their babies, who raised them, or how. But times have changed. Today most adoptions within the United States today are what are termed "open adoptions." That is, some information is shared between birth mother and the adoptive parents. 'Life-Changing Decision' It is in this new world that Brookanne and Erin, who asked that their last names be kept private, each found their way to a unique dorm, run by a not-for-profit agency called the Gladney Center for Adoption in Fort Worth, Texas. There, within a close-knit community of other pregnant women, Brooke and Erin would prepare themselves for the life changing events to come: choosing parents to adopt their child, giving birth and then just a few days later, placing their newborns for adoption. "This will be the hardest thing I've ever done," said Brookanne. Brookanne recognized early on the difficulties being such a young mother would pose, knowing she would be a child herself bringing a child into the world. "Me and my mother and my father, we all decided trying to raise a baby at fifteen is hard. I'm not ready to be a mother." Brookanne's mother, Barbara, said her daughter's decision was made with what seemed to be a firm resolve. "Her mind was made up when she told us she wanted to give the baby up for adoption. This was such a big, life-changing decision that it wasn't ours to make. It was ours to support." 'Almost Impossible' For Erin, the discovery of her pregnancy just before starting her first semester at college was further complicated by her family's financial hardships. Erin's parents, Ron and Marie, were bankrupt and had to sell their home. There was no health insurance to help buffer the costs of doctor's visits. But despite this, Marie told her daughter she shouldn't let money troubles stand in the way if she really wanted to keep the baby. "We would still love you, we would be supportive of you 110 percent," said Marie. After considering her options, Erin decided to place her baby for adoption. When asked if she considered raising the baby, Erin said "I did a little bit at first, but then the father decided he wasn't going to be a part of it." She said doing it all on her own would have been "almost impossible." "We were struggling and I've always heard the saying, I'f you can't afford to feed yourself, you can't afford to feed a baby,'" she said. "So that was the main factor. I just really wanted her to have a stress-free life." Both girls seemed committed to placing their babies for adoption and moved to the Gladney Center. But it was still early in their pregnancies, and they were dealing with complicated emotions, as well as physical and hormonal changes. Two out of every five girls who go to Gladney change their minds and decide to keep their babies. During one counseling session, Erin became unnerved when another girl she had become close to ran out of the room in tears unable to talk about her adoption plan. "It made me realize how strong some people can seem and then, it's just like, 'Oh man, if she can't do it I don't know if I can," she said. Choosing Prospective Parents One of the steadying influences during this turbulent time is the Gladney Center. It provides the girls with counseling, room and board, and medical care for free. Most important, though, according to the women living there, is that Gladney, like most adoption agencies today, gives women control by encouraging them to hand-pick the adoptive parents to raise their babies. Erin's counselor at Gladney, Paula St. John, showed Erin profile books made by couples who pay the agency an average of $25,000 dollars. The fee helps covers the womens' services and pay for background checks and processing costs. "I wanted my child to be raised with Christian beliefs," said Erin, adding, "I wanted her to be an only child, kind of like me." One of St. John's roles is to manage the expectations of both Erin and the prospective parents of her baby. "We try to make the match with the adoptive parent and the birth parent appropriate so that they want the same level of contact afterwards, so that there's not problems after," said St. John. Erin would be the ultimate judge. After looking through about a dozen profile books, she chose Mike and Wendy, a couple who had struggled with infertility and had been on Gladney's waiting list for nearly a year. "I hate to say, but it's almost like a sales approach you're selling the mom on yourself," said Mike. "But you want to come across as genuine as you can. And that's what we tried to do, is just show everything that we could to offer." 'Nervous and Scared' "When a birth mother meets her adoptive parents for the first time, she's got the control at that point," said St. John. "She's still carrying that child and the adoptive parents don't know whether that's gonna end up being their child in their home or not." There was a lot at stake when Erin met Mike and Wendy for the first time, a meeting arranged by Gladney. Mike and Wendy seemed far more nervous than Erin. "We've been so nervous and scared. You are so beautiful. I'm so glad we met!" said Wendy. Nationally, for every infant placed for adoption, there are dozens of couples hoping to adopt. Approximately 22,000 infants are adopted by non-relatives each year. And the adoption isn't final until Erin signs the adoption papers after the baby is born. Brookanne, meanwhile, had also picked what she thought was the perfect couple to adopt her baby. Their names were John and Dana and they had already adopted two baby girls from Gladney. Unlike Erin, who wanted a couple with no other children, Brookanne loved the fact that her daughter would have sisters. Unusually eager to have John and Dana participate in the process, she even asked them to come with her to a doctor's appointment. "We were so excited because even though this is our third adoption, we've never been able to go to a sonogram before," said Dana. Labor and Delivery About a month before her due date Brookanne, who had experienced gestational diabetes, went into labor. "I'm more worried about them having to do a C-section than anything," she said. Brookanne was in labor for 16 long hours before her doctors did decide to do a C-section. "I wasn't scared until they told me I'd be having a C-section," Brookanne said. "I tried to act brave and then I just started crying 'cause I was so afraid that something would happen…" Some birth mothers chose not to see their babies after they're born, fearing it will be too hard to let them go, but not Brookanne. When her baby was born it was love at first sight. "Words can't describe how I feel about her. I mean it's beyond love. It's breaking my heart to know I have to leave her," she said. Brookanne was having serious doubts about if she could follow through with her adoption plan, and privately Brookanne's parents thought "she [would] change her mind." "I try to help them focus back on what they have evaluated, what they've been planning when they weren't so emotional," said St. John. "And, so that they can make decisions based on who can provide best for the child. … and sometimes you just need to give them some time to grieve." Brookanne could still change her mind. About a third of all birth mothers don't follow through with their adoption plan. 'Placement Day' When Erin went into labor, her mother Marie was there to support her, coaching her daughter through the delivery of what would be her first grandchild. A few days after giving birth, after signing the formal adoption papers, Erin walked into what Gladney calls the "placement room." It's the first time Wendy and Mike saw Erin's biological daughter, the child they were going to adopt. Wendy could hardly believe it. "She's beautiful," she said, as Erin showed her the baby. Erin wrote a letter to her daughter which she read aloud in the placement room. "I am overwhelmed with love for you, little girl. I have decided to place you for adoption because I know you deserve more than what I can physically provide for you at this part in my life." It was a bittersweet moment for both the birth mother and the adopting couple. "We have prayed and prayed to start a family," said Wendy. "You are incredibly just a wonderful person." Both Wendy and Erin were in tears. Erin left that day with empty arms. Wendy and Mike left with a new baby girl and a new beginning as a family.
Have you ever really looked into someones eyes and saw their soul? Saw the passion they carry for every aspect of their life,their wishes and dreams? I will openly admit I am a people watcher. I love to observe people. Their eyes tell it all though. Not many people take the time to look someone in the eyes when they talk to them. If they would look into the other persons eyes, they would see that persons deepest secrets and desires. A person is an open book if you know how to open and read that book through the window to their soul. But beware some people are VERY good at making you read more into what you see. I have learned alot about people by observing them the "looks" they give to someone,their body language.... it all leads to their soul. By Renee
I would have told you I love you if we hadn't been saying goodbye With the end always a breath away it never seemed real to me like vapors disappearing before my eyes and even though you're gone today there's a ghost lurking within my mind I wanted you to know me to make sense of a heart gone wrong I wanted you to need me like I needed you and to wash away the sins of thought and deed You were too perfect to grasp and too wonderful to touch but now that you're gone all I have are memories fading and a ghost walking withing my mind It's only now that you haunt me on quiet, lonely nights when the wind carries your name into my ears leaving me adrift in a sea of regret and remorse I can't face who I am much less what I've become Just a wounded soul living in an broken heart walking these empty halls hoping to catch a glimpse of the ghost stalking within my mind (c) Raven - http://www.ravensrants.com
You broke a thousand hearts on your way to mine you tore through a thousand lonely souls and shattered a thousand dreams before a twist of fate brought you to my door Now you've moved on following the scent of loneliness down a trail of desperation to another victim one who smiles unaware just like I did in the months before But time will be kind to me as it is to most gentle souls though we break like twigs in the howling winds of today the rains of tomorrow make us strong and let us grow into a forest that can never be broken You will remain hollow, empty and weak even as I grow stronger and some day love will find you following the scent of your loneliness and it will break you with ease a rotten tree falling to a draft So even as I cry for you and nurse my broken heart I offer no words of anger nor carry any ill desires For your fate is your own and destiny spites you enough while I'll miss you on lonely nights I can not hate what I pity so much nor condem that which has condemned itself (c) Raven - http://www.ravensrants.com
How to tell when you're about to get the boot One day, you are madly in love. You're cuddling on the couch, reading love poems and feeding each other sushi. And that's when it happens: Your partner sits you down for the "It's-Not-You, It's-Me" talk. You're confused and left wondering, "How could I have missed the signs?"Breaking up is never easy. Your ego and heart are bound to get bruised. But if you could just see the breakup coming, it might make the whole business easier to stomachWhile hindsight is 20/20, there are always warning signals along the way. Top five signs you're about to get dumped 1. Picking fights. No one is saying you have to get along 24/7. Constructive conflict can actually be good for your relationship. But if you find that your partner has become argumentative over petty issues like your clothes or choice of restaurant, that should serve as a warning sign that he/she may be looking for an excuse to bail. 2. Forgetting to call. Used to be that your phone would ring all day long with your sweetie wanting to make plans or calling just to say, "I love you." Now your significant other doesn't even call when he/she is running three hours late. It may seem obvious, but going from speed dial to a blocked number is a sure sign that your relationship may be nearing its expiration date. 3. Changing their stripes. A major change in appearance can be a sign that your partner is looking toward greener pastures. Whether they've chopped off their hair, lost 40 pounds or gone from a bold brunette to a sultry blonde, major cosmetic changes should be noted. Of course, there's nothing wrong with being a little vain, but if the change is accompanied by any of the other signs listed here, you may need to get ready to go solo. 4. Criticizing. If your sweetie isn't feeling you anymore, don't be surprised if he/she becomes less tolerant of everything, from how you brush your teeth to how you tie your shoes. Constant criticism is a telltale sign that your days as a twosome are numbered. 5. Losing sexual interest. A healthy sex life can make or break a relationship. If you find that your partner is becoming more sexually aloof, you need to get to the root of the issue. While it's natural to have less sex as you settle into a comfortable groove together, waiting weeks or months to have sexual contact is a sign that something is amiss. Now that you know the warning signs, don't panic. Just because your partner exhibits some of these behaviors, that doesn't necessarily mean the relationship is over. In fact, it's usually a combination of signs and not one isolated incident that foreshadows a breakup.If you're worried that your partner is itching to get out, the most important thing you can do is sit down and discuss your issues in an honest and open manner. If you take these signs as your cue to improve communication, your relationship may just have a fighting chance.
Men, in general, are happy in their relationships. And yet women -- the very people responsible for making guys so happy -- spend a great deal of time fretting over whether their men want to stay in the relationship or are waiting to catch the next bus out of it. Indeed, women spend so much time fretting that they often ask men to talk more about ... gasp! ... their feelings. And the one thing that can make a contented guy discontented is being asked to talk about his feelings. It's like cooking up a great souffle, and then opening the oven to check on it -- and presto, the souffle goes flat.It's not that you should never ask a man about his feelings. But it's all about technique: you need to coax him to that place where he can share; pushing him just makes him stubborn.Don't use the f-word The problem for a lot of guys is that talking feelings with a woman is like talking French with a native Parisian. No matter how hard we study, we'll never master the language with quite the same fluency. So you need to make things a little simpler for us.From our end, we'd prefer that you don't directly ask about the "f-word" -- feelings. Say the word feelings to a man and it's like clipping your toenails during a striptease -- total turn-off. The reason? We have feelings, but we don't have the access to them that you do. So every conversation that's pointedly about our feelings seems to us like the last 15 minutes of "Law & Order," where we're the perp and you're the clever detective, poking a finger in our face and hinting that you know just a little more than we do. And you do know a little more than we do. You know how you feel. And we don't know how we feel. So if you want us to talk, then help us speak your language -- by speaking a little of ours.The point: If you want us to answer questions about what we're feeling, then stop asking about how we're feeling. Instead, watch how we behave, and where our interests lie. And be open about your feelings. The more you show comfort in expressing yourself, the more he'll do the same.How do I know where the relationship is going? I feel like I've hit a snag in a relationship with my boyfriend. We've been seeing each other for a few months. Everything was really great in the beginning. Now, it seems like we've fallen into that typical relationship routine. We see each other during the week, rent a movie on Fridays, and usually have sex twice a week (once after the movie). He's nice to me and treats me well, but I'd like to get things back to where they were. He tells me everything's fine, assures me he cares about me, and tells me not to worry about it. But I still do because what he says is one thing but what happens week to week is another. Any idea what he's thinking?Yeah. He's thinking exactly what he's saying, which is that everything's fine. " Women think that not talking about the relationship means there are problems, but it's the opposite for men. If we're not talking about it, it means we're happy," says Conner, 32. So the real question is not "What's he thinking?" It's "What are you thinking?" If you're content with the relationship you've got, then relax and enjoy it. And if you want more, say so. "If a man loves a woman, he'll prove it with daily action not just words," says Jimmy, 27. Either he'll step up to the plate, or what he's giving now is all he's got -- and maybe you need to move on.Why don't guys answer emotional questions? I've got a good friend who recently left her husband. They have one child who's eight, and my friend and her ex are now in this bitter disagreement about custody, about money, about who gets to see the daughter when. When I told my husband about it, I asked him how he felt about it, because these are really serious issues, and I figured he'd have really serious thoughts on them. Instead, he just sat there, shrugged his shoulders, and said, "That sucks." Does the man have no feelings?Of course he has feelings, and he told you what they were: He feels the situation sucks. Oh, but wait ... you were looking for something more. Here's the problem: You wanted him to tune into your concerns, but the signal you were sending was fuzzier than a pirate radio station. It's the old "feelings" conundrum again. If you want to ask him how he'd handle a custody issue, then ask him how he'd handle a custody issue. If you want to know if he thinks it's wrong for one partner to give up on a marriage, then ask him about that. But don't ask him about his feelings and expect him to surmise that your telling him a story about the neighbors is some Aesop's fable for your relationship. "We're simple. Please, no hints or assumptions," says D.J., 26. "Say what you mean, mean what you say. Don't make us guess as if we know what you are trying to say or feel."D.J.'s a bit of a wishful thinker. Just as men like direct, problem A/solution B equations, women seem to take a more poetic and metaphorical approach to communication. That's why communication between the sexes is so much work. To men, dealing with hypotheticals is fun when we're talking about pennant races and the stock market, not when you're asking us to project how we'd feel about anything really serious, like a breakup or infidelity or pizza toppings. In that case, direct questions will get you the answers you want: let's stay together, I'll be faithful forever, and no anchovies, please.Why can't a guy just plan out our future? My husband and I have two kids, a boy and a girl, ages three and six. I'm tired of taking the pill, so I've tried talking to my husband about other options. Specifically, I asked him if he wanted more kids. (I could go either way.) And if he didn't, then we should talk about a vasectomy. But he can't decide whether he wants more children, and he doesn't seem too thrilled with the idea of getting the vasectomy. Why doesn't he just tell me what he wants so then we can come up with some kind of game plan?Your question contains this interesting phrase: "I could go either way." It sounds like you and your husband are both comfortable in a pair of flip-flops. In our polls and surveys, we've asked men about the vasectomy issue. John, 41, has been talking about a vasectomy with his wife, but they're having trouble getting at the root of who really wants to do what. "Neither of us will come right out and say we're done having kids. She thinks me not signing right up for the operation somehow means that I have this evil master plan: that if I dump her, I'll be able to have kids with some 22-year-old bimbo. But I just don't want to get one, because neither of us have closed the door on having kids, and if she's up for it, I'm up for it."The fact is that men hate admitting that they don't have a plan, and with complex issues like this, it's hard for a guy to decide, unilaterally, the rest of both your lives. He's going to flip and flop like a beached sea bass until he knows for certain. And then, one day, he's just going to announce his decision.I know, it's hard living with us. Just don't try living without us.Masculinity mastered: what you now know about men "Feelings" is our f-word. Bleep it out of your conversational repertoire. Try pointed questions like "What do you think about...." We feel everything's okay when we're not talking about feelings. When we're talking about feelings, we feel everything's on the rocks. Backed into a corner, we won't let you into our heads. Give us some space and we'll let you in.Say this tonight! The sexiest thing a woman ever said to Dale, 32: "What would you like for breakfast?" The sexiest thing Tricia, 28, ever said to a man: "I wish I could have you."Say this, not that! Say this: "What do you think about that?" Not: "How do you feel about that?" Because: He knows how to answer the first question, but the second one makes him nervous.Say this: "I wish I could say this in a way that makes more sense to you." Not: "You don't understand me." Because: Miscommunication is a two-way street.Say this: "Let's go for a drive." Not: "Let's sit down and talk." Because: Men are less tense when they're doing something physical.Say anything: Once Not: Ten times Because: To a guy, repetition makes a statement meaningless.What it means when.... He says, "I love you" for the first time (not during sex). He does. And he thought it long before he ever said it.He says, "Fine," in response to a question about how his day was. Fine. If something significant happened, he'll tell you -- in a few hours.He says, "Five," when you ask him how many women he's slept with. Twelve.Wondering woman Why is it so hard for guys to write a personal message in a birthday card? Every year all I get is "Love, Jim." Five minutes on the way back from the drugstore doesn't give a whole lot of time to come up with something clever. Plus, he'd rather let a nice dinner and a show do the talking for him. Male mysteries 27: Percentage of men who say they primarily fight with their wives or girlfriends about the fact that they don't share or talk about their feelings. 65: Percentage of men who don't want their partners to ask more questions about them.
There are times when I'm inconsolable when the world around me becomes too much and my demons come out to feast on me again There are times when I'm hopeless when I'm too lost to return home and I don't need your comforting touch I just need to be left alone to sit quietly in the dark Don't offer me a friendly hand nor a tender embrace of love Just let me surround myself with shadows and let my troubles eat me whole Don't try to save me when I can't be saved and keep your tender words for another day a day when the tides of my heart have changed and my soul flows the other way But until that time remember that I love you and that you're still the keeper of my heart but for the moment love is not my friend and your tender touch and sweetest smile are like poison to my aching soul So let me be Let me sit alone in the dark Let me find comfort in forgotten lusts Let me bandage my heart with solitude and dry my tears with time I know that you understand and I pray that you'll return Because I long for when I can emerge from these shadows and once again cherish the smile glistening http://www.ravensrants.com
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