F K's blog: "dreams"

over the past few years i came to know this man.. his name is lary smith but his friends call him pop..i met him nearly 3 years ago helpping his daughter inlaw with a few programs for his website. little did i know that i would one day stand in this mans living room.and possiably one day be his daughter inlaw.. first impressions last a lifetime. althou this man drank heavily everyday he never once said a mean word to me. he welcomed me into his home to visit and recently to living with him.. well 3 weeks ago he desided to take that online journey hisself.. met a woman offline.. this morning we recived a phone call saying he had had a stroke.. he had hemoraging of the brain and a few hours ago was pronounced brain dead. the machines he is on keeping him alive will be shut down tomorrow morning.. when this man left for his trip this day i was here with him he was a nervious wreck worried of flying and meeting this woman whom he only knew online..he told me amber your gunna miss me gurl i said yeah i know pop.. he often talked to me during the weeks i have been here kindda get to know the man your with when his dad tells ya all those stories.. he talked to me about things only he and i will share.. so to pop smith your right hun you will be missed.. so these smooches go out to my future father inlaw larry smith we will miss ya pop..

5000 BOMBS AND I GET THE ROLEX SO HELP BLING MY PAGE PPL!!JUST CLICK ON THE PIC AND IT WILL TAKE U TO THE LINK

Music Video Codes By Music Jesus.com THINKING ABOUT THE BLADE. THINKING ABOUT THAT KNIFE. THINKING ABOUT ALL THE WRONG IN MY LIFE. THINKING OF THE STEELE PEIRCEING MY SKIN. THINKING I CANNOT GO THREW THIS AGAIN. THINKING ABOUT WHAT MY LIFE REALY MEANS. THINKING ABOUT HOW LONG I STAYED CLEAN. THINKING HOW COULD I HAVE A RELAPSE. THINKING I DID AND TO MY KNEES I COLLAPSE. THINKING MY THOUGHTS ARE LIKE CANCER INSIDE MY BRAIN. THINKING SLOWLY I AM DRIVEING MYSELF INSANE. THINKING IS THERE ANYONE WHO CAN REALLY HELP ME. THINKING IF MY LIFE REALLY WASNT MENT TO BE. THINKING WILL I EVER BE ALRIGHT. THINKING I DONT KNOW BUT THIS IS MY LIFE............ WRITTEN BY LADY KAOS

captivated by your beauty enthralled by your grace my kaotic angel of mercy bringing joy to my world with a gentle smile or a subtle wink leaving traces of you like kisses upon my skin separated by distance but united by our hearts slowly bridging the gap until we're no longer apart all that is good in me is yours for the asking all that I have to give shall be given freely you are my constant gift the thing I most cherish a life without you in it beyond my worst fear I may never know your feelings whats hidden deep within you but that shall never change me or lessen my love for you the air that I breathe the song in my heart all of the things you are Im so grateful for and this I can promise you'll be lonely nevermore written for the Lady of Kaos,who is so dear to me,on her Birthday January 19,2007......I love you ,thank you for letting me be a small part of your life....Jim

kaotic she is,mesmerizing me her kisses my treasure her heart my home seeking only her smile magically touching my heart bringing music to my soul a love for her unrequited but growing stronger everyday longing but always unconditional the best part of me filling a spacious void peacefully soothing all worries beautifully quelling all fears in my heart she lies forever close to me there with me always no matter how far away missing her words loving her thoughts she only need ask and ill give her anything be it her fondest wish or her darkest desire for she is my heart and all it could be kaotic she is beloved by me For the one I adore,The Lady of Kaos,on her birthday January 19th,2007.....I love you with all my heart .......happy birthday amber.....smooches jim

We want you to come home safe and sound. Where you belong on american ground. To the men and woman fighting this war. Each day spent with out you is a chore. We wait to welcome you home with arms open wide. With tears of joy and hearts filled with pride. Each day hopping you will come home soon. No matter the time midnight or noon. We cant wait to hold you tight. Never letting you out of sight. We understand it is a job you must do. To protect the meaning of the red white and blue. Stand tall soldier and shout out loud. I am american and i am proud. written by lady of kaos

Is it possiable for a love to form. In mists of these rain filled storms. A life of clouds dark and grey. A debt of retribution she is to pay. She dreams of an aluminious light. Angel wings spread to take flight. Her eyes open and the angel has vanished. The unforgiven sin is how her soul was banished. Regrets of this life go to her grave. For her own soul she could not save. She tried to play the hand of god Downing sleeping pills she starts to nod. Slipping into whats after this life. Knowing its wrong but it feels right. With her soul in the palm of his hands. This is where he gave his demands. All around him the angels danced. He returned her for a second chance. I CANNOT PRETEND TO KNO WHAT THIS POEM WILL MEAN TO ANY OF YOU. THIS ONE I MAY HAVE WRITTEN FOR ME. I DO THAT SOMETIMES. BUT I THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE IT. HAVE ANY OF YOU BEEN GIVEN A SECOND CHANCE AT ANY THING?THIS WEEK WHILE I WAS OFFLINE, I TOOK SOME TIME TO MYSELF TO READ SOME OF MY POETRY.SOMETHING I USED TO DO ALOT. TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND MYSELF BETTER I WRITE DOWN HOW I FEEL IN A PARTICULAR MOMENT AND LATER I REREAD WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN. I ALSO DO THIS WITH OTHER PEOPLES POETRY.YOU CAN TELL ALOT ABOUT A PERSON AS YOU READ IT FROM THERE OWN WORDS. SMOOCHES LADY KAOS

RAZOR WHISPERS She whispers but sounds like thunder. Picks me up when i am going under. When she speaks you should listen. Your heart she touches from with in. If you need to run or even hide. Know shes right there by your side. The game of life we fight to devoir. The bond will never wither like a flower. Does she whisper to you as well. When your right at those gates of hell. Razor whispers but i hear it loud. Her voice can cut right threw a crowd. The whispers of a razorblade kiss. Will leave you in utter bliss. When razor whispers all can hear. A heavenly voice that sounds so clear. Razor whispers to my broken soul. With out her whispers i woudln't be whole.

At the Waffle House The waffle house way. Thats what they want us to say. First shift from seven to two. Second shift from two to nine. Thrid shift from nine to seven. The bar rush starts at eleven. Different day same old shit. As long as the work is done at the end of your shift. The underpaid cooks bust there ass. As were all out back smoken some grass. The waitress"Es put up with alot of crap. But all of us are friends and start each day giving dap. We are all our own person in a way. Sixteen different personalities start each day. We all ahng out after hours. Drinking away our life that sours. It doesnt end with each days work. Even thou our boss is a jerk. Red star blue star gold star certified. 90% on our menu test going home with pride. Here at the 1187 Military ball they come to us to start it off Whether by mouth or through the fist. They come to jam to waffle houses greatest hits. Crazy custmers come here too. To smoke ciggarettes the whole night through. Hello we say to each customer that comes through. And a waffle house good morning to you. We are going to puch what remains Lets wrap it up it"s a waffle house game. Papa Joe"s pork chops®,Alice"s sweet tea® Walts soup® and Bert"S chillie®. Libs patty melt® scattered and smoothered Add some bacon and make it covered. Sandwiches,or wraps,hashbrowns,or grits. Eggs and waffles gets you your tips. We learn from each other every day. Because there is always some thing new in the waffle house way.

(I REMBER THAT DAY YOU WERE TAKEN FROM ME) THE WORST DAY I HAD EVER HAD EMOTIONS CONSUMED ME BUT ONLY SAD SADNESS IS WHAT I FEEL ONCE A YEAR THINKING OF YOU ONLY SHEDS THE TEARS I KEEP PLAYING THE WHAT IF GAME IF I DID THIS WOULD IT HAVE BEEN THE SAME YOU WERE MINE AND HE TOOK YOU AWAY FROM ME THEN LEFT ME THERE CRYING IN MY INSANITY MOST TELL ME LOOK AT WHAT HE HAS GIVEN YOU BUT I KEEP THIS THOUGHT ONLY TO GET ME THREW I NEVER EVEN GOT TO HEAR YOU CRY AND I JUST KEEP ASKING HIM WHY WAS IT SOMETHING HE DID TO PROTECT YOU A LIFE OF SADNESS AND FEELINGS OF BLUE LIFE IS HARSH AND BURDENS ARE A TON YOU HAVE TAUGHT ME A LESSON IN LIFE DEAR SON WE ARE NEVER PROMISED TOMORROW DONT LIVE YOUR LIFE CONSUMED IN SORROW I LOVE YOU SON KEEP THAT CLOSE TO YOUR HEART AND KNOW WE ARE NEVER FAR APART. THIS IS A POEM THAT I WROTE TO HELP ME DEAL WITH THE PASSING OF OUR SON I KNOW IT IS A TEAR JERCKER BUT LIFE IS FULL OF MANY EMOTIONS.SOME HAPPY SOME SAD. WE MUST NEVER FORGET THE LESSONS WE HAVE LEARNED IN LIFE EVEN IF IT WAS BECAUSE OF A HARDSHIP AS THE PASSING OF A LOVED ONE. THIS TIME FOR ME WAS VERRY HARD TO DEAL WITH HE WAS STILL BORN AT 5 MONTHS WE HAD ALREADY HAD 2 CHILDREN 2 LITTLE GIRLS. BLESSING FROM ABOVE EACH AND EVERYONE OF OUR GIRLS ARE. BUT WE OFTEN STOP AND THINK OF OUR LITTLE ANGEL BOY IN THE SKY WATCHING OVER US.. WE LOVE YOU GABRIEL!!!!!!!!