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jess GYPSY's blog: "dreams"

created on 02/14/2008  |  http://fubar.com/dreams/b188566

nightmares

ever have one of those moments where you think you are dreaming. seems everything is going right and your are afraid someone will wake you up. my problem is i want someone to wake me up cause i think im living in a nightmare. seems nothing is going right and its hard to fing things to be thankful for. i have a couple of friends who i know love me (you know who you are) but they are almost on the other side of the country so i never get to see them. i have my mom who i love very much. dont get me wrong i am greatfull for these people but its hard to think that its enough. i fell in love with someone years ago. i honestly cannot see my life without him, but i guess he doesnt feel the same way. its hard to handle. i met someone recently who i thought i could spend some time with. then he tells me he is getting married. all of my friends are married. sometimes i wonder if something like that will ever happen for me. or is it really just a fairy tale? i have lived my life a certain way for a long time and now im starting to get tired of it. im tired of being alone. im tired of having to look for another job. tired of everything. does life get better or am i just doomed to live my nightmare?
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