i dont know what my deal was with that first blog and everything. But if you wanted to know what exactly i was talking about here is the dream: (taken from my Myspace Blog)
Everyone dreams and sometimes people remember those dreams and sometimes they dont. I usually dont remember any of my dreams, safe for a few. This dream that I had last night was one that i remember the main course, but some of the details are grey. However this dream when i woke up i wasnt happy at all. Not that the dream wasnt a happy one i just woke up to realize that it was just that...a dream. So heres a short recap of the dream:
So if people dont know Im dating Alex, I dont care if you know or you dont know. Its not an issue whether or not its obvious on either end, but he is part of this dream. So moving on i dont remember where we were but he suddenly purposes to me with the ring that i had another dream about last year. Its a Claddegh ring, silver or platium (whatever) and on the band there was writing, but i dont remember it. Then in the heart were our two birthstones, two half hearts. Honestly it was a pretty awesome ring in my mind.
Then after that it was the normal thing i guess about planning a wedding, the hectic crap involved. And then it happened we were in this beautiful church and i was surrounded by everyone and then after that we went to the reception oddly enough at the Gatehouse...(ya well been there enough times it came up)...and what could i say really, it was exactly how i wanted it to be. everything was wonderful and honestly i was amazingly happy. So after all of that before we even left the Gatehouse for the honeymoon, I woke up to the sound of Maytag howling at the train going by.
So understandable thats a nice dream, am i correct? But when I woke up and i cried. Stupid i know, emo, well call me whatever you want, that doesnt change the fact that i did. Not because it was up at 3 in the morning and couldnt go back to sleep, but i realized that all through that dream i was with Alex. Holding his hand, hugging, and just being together with him. Thats a hard thing to wake up from and realize that you are alone. I know that im not alone really, but its hard when you dont have that person to turn around and hug or cuddle up against. Thats the one thing that I am dealing with right now, how much i miss his presence. Now i dont expect that to happen because i dont believe that it will any time soon. it was just another dream.
