This morning some shit went down and I lost my best friend and confidant. It was just something stupid that never should have happened in the first place. Needless to say, this is not helping me think otherwise about that fact that people would be better off without me. My heart hurts because I hurt my best friend and he is very upset. He wants nothing more to do with me. I don't know what to do. I told him how I felt and it wasn't enough. I am done having friends and I am done with everything else. I think I will give my son to his father and disappear. People will be better off without me. My best friend told me that he didn't want anything to so with me. He told me this today and it crushed me.
"It doesnt matter anymore When i get back online i am removing you from my friends"
I just don't know what else to do. All I do know is that this isn't worth it anymore. My best friend is gone. He made me so happy. I could tell him everything and anything. This is not trying to get my best friend to come back but maybe if he reads it, he will realize how much it hurt me to. He thought I was going to play him and I suppose that in the end, I might as well have played him. Then he might not be as hurt. Well, I should go and cry my eyes out before bed like I used to before my best friend.
~Manda~
P.S. To my best friend, you know who you are. I am sorry and no matter what, I will always care about you, love you and worry about you. You still mean the world to me. You are my everything.
