To the one that I loved,and will always love
Current mood: sad
Category: Writing and Poetry
Oneday you are high on top of the world,the next you aren't on the bottom,your under the bottom.At one point in my life everyone loved me,everyone wanted me around or wantedto be around me.I was once loved by everybody.I was high on top of my dope thron,lol,enjoying all it's benifits.See money has never been my thing,it has always been exceptance.Sell dope and not only will you have money you will have exceptance.Even people you don't know all of the sudden want to be around you.Like most fake people they tell you if you didn't have anything,that they would still want to be around you.Then you start slowly loosing everything and trust me the people that wanted just to know you start to quickly forget you.You become yesterdays news.They start talking about you,saying things like he is so sorry,good for nothing.Then when you start to make a change in your life and decide that you are a better person to leave all those things behind,you are no more.I used to not have a problem with finding a person to be loved by me,my only problem used to be deciding who I wanted to be with.Now I'm like the plauge.Hell I had a wife at one time I thought loved me with all her heart,she could do no wrong in my eye's.Turns out when the fame and cash were gone that she never even loved me at all,she damn sure didn't care wether she hurt me or not.But I don't blame her or them at all.I blame myself for trying to be someone who I was never ment to be.I am a good person at heart,someone who used to enjoy life for are the simple thing that it offered.Now I'm stuck in the wake of my own self destruction.At 34 it's hard to pick back up you know.I know longer feel that I can find love.I know this for a fact though,I through it away for the last time,cause I dont think it will ever return.I through away something that was so special to me that I didn't even realize it.I dont think you get those chances again.What I would not give for a heart to love,for a soul to keep warm with the joys of a shared and meaningful life.I now know what I should have been in search of the whole time,not a money hungry never satisfied with just being loved,kinda girl.But one who loves you so bad that they cry with just a thought of being without you,a girl that dont care who you are special to just as long as they can hear your voice on the phone.No,I dont think that will come around for me twice,and I'm here to tell you that makes living life real hard.You know the only thing in life I actually think I would do different is to not tell her I dont want her,but to tell her that if she will be there that everything for me will be allright.You probably know who this is to,I just hope you realize how special you are and were to me,and how special at least the memory of you still is to me.You will always hold the highest part of my heart.love you always,and if you are not in my future,I hope that someone just like you will be there for me
